Trigger warning! My gut feeling has been sounding such a strong alarm for the past 3-4 days that I couldn't sleep and was always lying awake in bed at 2:30 a.m., sleeping for the last 1-2 hours from 5 to 7 a.m. Yesterday, it became clear to me what my body was telling me: Toxic people fighting for my attention at all costs with loud voices and deliberate boundary violations because I don't want any contact with them. People who are afraid of poison but are poison incarnate. The needs and boundaries of others are ignored. If you were to then respectfully address their behavior, even though you want to avoid conflict, you would be judged or even insulted for standing up for your own boundaries. These are, by the way, the people who don't want to see you shine because the glow blinds them too much, and the truth/knowledge being spoken out is a threat. A threat to their deceitful, hypocritical behavior. I'm so happy that I'm going to Canada next year, that I can build something for myself in another country and leave everything behind me.

Hi everyone, this is Marjan. I wanted to share something personal, in case some of you have experienced something similar or have insights to offer. I immigrated to Austria about ten years ago, and back then, anxiety wasn’t really part of my life. My biggest dream was simple: to start a family and earn a PhD. That was it. I’ve always felt a deep connection to nature and could sense God's presence in every little creature and phenomenon. Now I live in Finland, and to be honest, I feel more at home here than I ever did in my home country or Austria. But here's where things get complicated. Over the years, life brought a lot of unexpected turns and challenges, and somewhere along the way, I developed intense, chronic anxiety that I’m still struggling with. Even though I’m passionate about my work and the things I care about, I’ve never truly felt successful in loving myself or anything else. My prayers to build a family have remained unanswered, and that hurts deeply, especially since, in my mind, I never imagined a life lived alone. I try to cope, but it often feels like the harder I try, the more I fail. And letting go of that dream feels like letting go of a part of myself. I know healing starts from within, but I’m just so tired, physically, mentally, emotionally. I can’t keep up with journaling or stay active like I used to. Everything feels heavier lately. I often feel invisible, even though I remind myself that God is always present and that the world unfolds according to His good purpose. I try to trust the timing, hold onto faith, and keep moving forward… but it’s hard not to feel like I’m losing time, just as I did in my 20s. I stayed being thankful and positive, but deep inside, I am not healed , and its the biggest failure for me having all of these information about self-love etc. :(

A page from the book which I read at the moment.

Since I removed toxic people from my life, my good days can no longer be ruined.☀️ A healthy reminder for you to analyze your surroundings.

I have a neutral question for you on the topic of parenting. I have my own opinion on the matter and would like to hear yours. Do you think parents don't know any better from their childhood and raise their children the way their parents did, or should parents be aware of what parenting should look like beforehand and approach parenthood with self-reflection?