Following up from our coaching session last week about perfectionism or sky-high standards hindering action-taking; boundary-setting; and breaking free from limiting beliefs about ourselves amongst other things - I wanted to share this podcast tip that offered lots of insights on the same topics. Listen to the conversation between Emma Grede & Dr. Thema Bryant here. & then return to this post to check out these KEY INSIGHTS from the episode: - 🧩 Healing is foundational, not optional, for a fulfilled and successful life. Without addressing unresolved trauma and limiting beliefs, individuals are likely to remain stuck, running from pain or self-sabotaging. This healing journey is ongoing, requires courage, and often necessitates professional therapy or supportive environments (like the R2T community/coaching). It is not about perfection but about embracing wholeness. 🧠 Unpacking core beliefs and childhood stories reveals self-limiting patterns: Many behaviours that hold people back—eg procrastination, conflict avoidance, low self-esteem... —are rooted in childhood messages absorbed from parents, teachers, and peers. These “lies” or negative stories shape how we see ourselves. Recognising and rewriting these narratives through techniques like narrative therapy can empower individuals to reclaim agency and redefine their identity (as learnt in R2T). 😨 Fear of failure and success often paralyse progress: Fear is a powerful force that manifests in different ways, including perfectionism, procrastination, and controlling behaviours. Dr. Brian recommends visualisation (as learnt in R2T) and exposure techniques to imagine the worst-case scenario and see oneself surviving it, which can desensitize the fear and build resilience. Recognizing fear as a natural response to the unknown allows for more intentional risk-taking. ❤️‍🩹 Trauma influences emotional regulation and trust, impacting relationships and workplace dynamics: Trauma overwhelms coping capacity and can produce hypervigilance, difficulty trusting others, and emotional volatility. In the workplace, trauma or stressors such as layoffs or lack of transparency exacerbate anxiety and reduce psychological safety. Leaders must practice self-compassion, acknowledge mistakes, and foster open communication to create healthier environments.

This was the mental reframing method that I mentioned at the previous coaching call! It's from a book called I need your love - Is that true?, written by Byron Katie. I borrowed the book and then I didn't have the time to read more than the first two chapters before I had to return it (will read the whole book at some point though). I can definitely recommend it - lots of aha-moments (for me at least)! With that said I wish you a lovely weekend! ⭐ Hope this friday has treated you well so far 💕

I am so sorry for not summarising last week’s coaching call until now. My life has taken interesting turns recently nudging me to be present offline. Let’s try to recap what we talked about, shall we? KEY TAKEAWAYS - When doing visualisation meditations, painful emotions or even pain in your body can surface because suppressed feelings are brought to light. Allow them to come, without judgment or fear. This too shall pass - but it’s only by bringing it to light that we take back the control. - At first, stillness (e.g. due to illness or other reasons you can’t “run” from your feelings) can bring anxiety or other unwanted feelings due to the urge to want control, to “sit in the driver’s seat” and know where life is heading. But it’s in the silence & stillness - particularly the removal of (digital) distractions - that we allow for deeper presence, deeper understanding of ourselves. It also allows us to cherish more the small moments, which essentially are what add up to form our life. - Setting boundaries is so important and an important part of the work in R2T. 2 things to bare in mind: 1) HOW we communicate our boundaries can often be more important than WHAT we say. This involves explaining how the boundary will help you to show up as a better version of yourself in the relationship where you’re setting boundaries. Yet, 2) Sometimes communication isn’t enough — you may need to physically remove/distance yourself from a relationship if the other part refuses to respect your boundaries. - There’s a two-edged sword between focusing on a single task/opportunity, and letting perfectionism or other limiting beliefs hold you back from “taking the leap” or meeting your true potential. On the one hand, focusing wholeheartedly on a single opportunity (e.g. a project, a startup idea, one book at a time etc.) will get you faster to your goal, with more impact & less stress & less “overhead costs” (from double admin/switching between tasks etc.) as Cal Newport calls it in his book “Slow Productivity”. On the other hand, many of us choose to focus on something that society has told us is “respectable”, yet it doesn’t give us pure fulfilment or joy. We often go on autopilot rather than stopping to ask ourselves: “is this truly what I desire from life?”, in addition to unconsciously being held back by limiting beliefs like “this isn’t/I’m not good enough, so there’s no point in me even trying because I will anyway fail”. So in periods of our life, we may want to have 2 projects going on simultaneously e.g. one that pays the bills, the other that gives us true fulfilment & helps us grow outside of our comfort zone & teaches us to take action even if it isn’t “perfect”. - There can be a tendency to “protect oneself” by telling others about our so-called flaws, but words can become self-fulfilling prophecies - the stories we tell ourselves & others can over time form our identity ⇒ and therefore also our reality. - Breaking an old identity or belief about yourself that no longer serves you (e.g. “people always think that I take up too much space” or “I never have anything interesting to contribute with” etc.) starts with rewording the story in your head AND out loud. Immersing yourself in new environments is a great way to practice rewriting the stories you tell about yourself, until it’s become so ingrained that you can stand firmly in that identity even in existing relationships. - A fast track to rewriting such beliefs / identity shifts is visualising yourself as the person you WANT to be whilst in deep meditation/after breathwork when you’re in gamma/theta/alpha brain waves. You practice this in the course actions. - A comforting reminder: Everyone is so focused on themselves that they rarely have time to dwell on you as much as we think they do. - Any thought can be reframed — turning pain or challenge into meaning, and helping you to find positivity even in difficult situations. See picture in comment section.

För exalterad för att översätta mina tankar till engelska!! Jag kom in på skrivarutbildningen!!😍 den här utbildningen är bara för mig. Bara för att få djupdyka i något som jag vill. Och tydligen endå är så pass okej på att jag kom in😍🌟🙏🏼💕

Ni vet när man står inför stora beslut, en ny möjlighet eller bara har en situation där man inte vet om man ska svara ja eller nej. Hur vet man vad som är rätt väg? Hjärtat och hjärnan kanske krigar lite, men vem är det som har rätt och vad ska vi lyssna till? Då har jag lärt mig att applicera de så kallade ”filterfrågorna” (shout out till Magnus Helgesson). Ställ dig dessa frågor, och svara ja eller nej samt utveckla varför du svarade det du gjorde. 1. Är detta smart? 2. Är det bra för mig? 3. Tar det mig närmare mitt främsta mål just nu? 4. Kommer jag må bättre av det? Svarade du NEJ på någon av fråga, då är svaret nej. Om du fortfarande är osäker, gå vidare till fråga 5. 5. Visualisera att du svarar ja till det du funderar över. Hur känns det i kroppen? Visualisera att du svarar nej på det du funderar över. Hur känns det? Märkte du någon skillnad? Vilket svar kändes bäst i kroppen? Och kom ihåg, oftast finns svaret i frågan (din egen fråga till dig själv, inte mina frågor ovan) ;) Ha en underbar dag allihopa! ❤️ tack Thomasine för att du uppmuntrade mig att dela frågorna med resten av gänget!