What's up community. First of all, if your relationship made it through January, take a moment to celebrate. January is known as the highest month for divorce. If I am going to make a guess, this happens right after the holiday season when life gets back to normal. The majority of the divorces filed by women. It's becoming more common that I am reading about men reporting that they were blindsided when their relationship ended. This is troublling for me to hear. If I was a betting man, most of these guys are missing signs the end is near. In this post, I am going to touch on this topic and hope I can provide some valuable feedback. Why So Many Men Feel Blindsided When a Relationship Ends Just the other day, I was doom scrolling online, "my girl left me, I'm struggling, I was blindsided." Men often say the relationship ended out of nowhere. Amost always, they also say: “I’m struggling emotionally.” One question to consider is "did the struggle start long before the breakup?" The Hidden Reason Men Miss the Warning Signs The most common place men get stuck is something called ambivalence. Ambivalence means: It's like voices or internal family in your head says: - One part of you knows change is needed - Another part of you wants things to stay the same This inner conflict is exhausting—and overtime, easy to ignore. Most men who feel blindsided knew something was off. "Is it possible, they just didn’t feel safe, skilled, or supported enough to change so they shut down and stuck to the status quo?" “They warn I'm tired” — What That Really Means When women talk about or left the relationship, there is a common theme: “I was tired.” (red flag) This doesn’t mean weak or dramitic - usually meaning emotionally worn down The relationship is unbalanced The connection felt loose. Communication felt heavy. Emotional safety faded. Like a charger that was no longer plugged in-the relationship slowly lost power. Why Men Shut Down Instead of Changing Many men were warned directly or indirectly - Most missed or misread the signs.

“The Law Of Identity” How Are U Going To Show Up In 26’?”

Yo, Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays Community. Just tapping to share an experience that might resonate with you. The holidays can be stressful. As a matter fact of will be sitting on a panel of experts on how to manage holiday stress. One reminder in this communication today is to let this be a reminder to manage your self-care. Find fun and appreciate those moments that seem insignificant. The family was out for dinner in Chicago at the Navy Pier. We were proceeding past build a bear and I wanted a souvenir. I reached for a teddy bear and then I paused. And there he was - It was a the Grinch. An employee pointed me to the bin. There he was, I picked him up, - just a shell, no filling, no life, LOL no emotions aka “just a shell of himself’- He did have a heart, three sizes large attached to him. I didn’t know at the time, build a bear stuffed animals come with a heart - I engaged in build a bear ritual right before I inserted his heart into his back. I got a Birth Certificate & A build a bear house. “Sometimes the right questions can be so powerful.” Sitting at the table waiting for our food, He asked “what was the most enjoyable moment so far this evening.” I was not fully present because I loathe these moments - I often see this questions as time fillers. However, on this occasion, after I locked in - something was different - I did have a most enjoyable moment, with a smile on my face I said “I got one, it’s my Grinch.” Now looking back, the way my brain works.l, as the build a bear added value by stuffing my Grinch - my Grinch probably 3x’d in value versus the cost of just the shell I initially picked up out of a bin. Then it hit me, That’s my role here, stuff my guys, create value - create rituals - put a smile on their face. Moral of the story, create, recognize & make note of fun memories with meaningful others. Appreciate You Community .

What's up community, Happy Monday. I wanted to share a post I recently added to my blog at babystepssaq mental coaching site - bsaq1.com I wanted this community to meet another bad dude who, if you let him not can, will take over the reins causing us to lose emotional control during intense fellowship. (And How to Take the Reins Back). Here is a clue this dude has showed up and showed out in your last conversation. First you are going to realize your clear self have left the room for.a couple of minutes or so—next you will find yourself saying things you regret behaving that way, you begin shut down, or blowing up in the first place—Guys as I told you before, you’re not broken - You’re being hijacked. By who you may ask - I call this part of you the Chimp. Here is the thing - All of us have one. In the lens of the Grinch, the Chimp takes the reins from the Grinch. And until you learn how to work with him not against it, when it's to communicate, in these moments, you will feel the pressure, and your relationship will continue to feel like a performance anxiety issue in Crunch Time. The Chimp Inside Every Man When I worked with athletes as a sports psychotherapist I came across Dr. Steve Peters. In his book The Chimp Paradox by Dr. Peters explains that the Chimp is an emotional survival system that thinks independently from your calm, rational self. Its only job? - Keep you alive. HERE IS THE THING: Your Chimp doesn’t know the difference between a physical threat and an emotional one. - So when your partner raises their voice…, Speaks to you like your mother, Trigger your inner child, When you feel criticized…, When conflict shows up… and on and on, and on - The brain sounds the "Red code alert." Simple brain science reminds us hormones flood your body, The Chimp takes the wheel, Your thinking brain in now offline and this is the reason "Why the Grinch, Grinch's" Why I Teach This With Toys (Yes, Toys) Overtime I will introduce to a bunch of my characters.

https://www.skool.com/why-the-grinch-grinches-6670/about?ref=86bc4064320d4b4bae69f46c503b8f43