Lunch- nothing Dinner 6pm- aunts house with extended family - small side of salad with Olive Garden Italian dressing - Piece of lasagna - size of my fist Feeling- Frustrated. There wasn’t a healthy option. Don’t usually eat pasta since I’ve been low carb since January. Rate pasta a 2. I don’t like that I can’t pin point how many calories I ate. Makes me feel out of control. Went for a 4 mile walk with weighted vest once the kids went to bed. I usually only walk 2, but while walking I was having a lot of negative self talk so I kept going until it stopped. Just feeling dumb. Not sure if I should keep posting these. Having a mentally frustrating night.

As many of you know I’ve been traveling for the greater part of 40 days and now that I am “back” the amount of stress, pressure, anxiety, and “oh no” that has flooded my mind is quite jarring. I want to take this as an opportunity to let you all know that no matter where you are on your journey, stuff is going to come up. You can have it all “figured out” and then life is going to toss some curveballs or some old habits or memories pop up out of nowhere and you’re like “wait! I thought this was over?!” Nope. We don’t lose them - We grow WITH them. So, what am I doing? 1. Accepting these thoughts and feelings. I’m not judging them or criticizing them. I’m allowing them in because they are part of me. It doesn’t make them right or wrong, it makes them mine. 2. Not every thought or feeling is fact. We’ve all had our fair share of not so great thoughts that we know are not actually objective facts aka “I suck”, “I’ll never figure it out”, or even the worse things that I’m not going to mention. They are not facts whatsoever. Rather than taking any of this fabricated pressure as fact, I am accepting the thoughts and feelings and looking at them as if they are clouds passing in the sky. Then I let them pass by. 3. I’m going to enjoy my day. I get cut off in traffic? I’m sure they had somewhere to be faster than I do. I spill coffee? Good thing I am in a place where I can make more. I have a disagreement with someone and get my feelings hurt? I take a breath. Pause. And seek clarity rather than responding immediately. I’m sure they meant something positive and not what my knee jerk reaction felt. You need to learn how to set boundaries with yourself. You say you’re going to workout? You keep your promise and workout. You say you’re going to be kinder to yourself? You keep your promise and begin taking steps toward being kinder to yourself. You say you’re going to get off your phone? You keep your promise and get off your phone. Keeping promises to yourself (and having boundaries with yourself and with others) is one of the greatest acts of self love and self care you can build.

I said I wouldn’t fast anymore. Which if driving me nuts today. So here goes: Lunch 12:45 Muscle milk- 160 cals Feeling- Chugged it down. Anytime I have a muscle milk I feel like it’s a force feeding. Like I have to have something but don’t want to. Dinner 5:30pm Chick fila grilled nuggets - 200 cals Feeling- I won’t like. I love me some grilled nugs. Feel like it’s good protein but low calorie. Doesn’t make me feel guilty for eating. Currently doing my 2 mile walk while my oldest is at dance. This hill is gnarly with my vest on. Will have my tea and be done for the night

Happy mother's day to all the mommas in here and dog momma's! Hope you have a wonderful day!