How Awareness can change everything · The Somatic Academy by Soma+IQ

How Awareness can change everything

I had an interesting experience yesterday. My younger sister and I are very different and have never been close. I have tended to feel looked down on by her since childhood because although she is younger by 4 years she has always been better than me at pretty well everything. She is dominantly a left-brained woman of the mind. I am dominantly a right brained (probably dyslexic and dyspraxic) woman of the heart. Her family all flew in academic things and tend to be in quite prestigious well paid employment, while my son is a Carer and gets less income than he would if he were unemployed.

But what makes it even more difficult is that when we last met we had a slight falling out. She had invited me for a meal at her son's house - he lives on the other side of London - about a year ago. He is a big-shot award winning journalist working for a prestigious journal. I have always liked and admired John. He is very dynamic. He cycles everywhere - distance is no barrier - and we have got on well since he was a child - but he doesn't reply to my messages so over the years we have lost touch.

The meal had been pleasant, and afterwords, as I was preparing to leave, I mentioned my Gaza families and asked if they might like to donate or even adopt one of them. I showed my nephew, who had a young baby, the poster I've made for Jehad - a media worker whose wife was expecting their second baby (in a war-zone where starvation has been weaponised as part a genocide.) I showed my sister the poster for Yasmine and her family. She trained as a midwife and I asked if my sister might share the poster with her daughter who is a doctor.

The atmosphere became strained and my sister made it clear that her children all have their own struggles and she doesn't want me putting what she felt was a kind of emotional blackmail on them. We have had very little contact since then, just rather uncomfortable dutiful phone calls, because we both believe that family connections matter and don't want to lose touch. I haven't heard from my nephew since, and have not felt it would be right for me to make the first move - particulalry in view of the fact that he has never replied to my messages. So my sister's unexpected invitation to come over for a meal while she and her husband had been visiting - I guess doing some babysitting - was something I responded to emotionally with mixed feelings.

As I set out, I was on WhatsApp, catching up with the messages from Gaza families and friends who are also supporting Palestine. A few days ago, someone shared a message from her Gaza friend. It was inspiring so I had shared it with Yasmine....

When My Life Became a Miracle: My Experience in the Gaza Genocide.

I never imagined I would live through a war with such violence and destruction. When the airstrikes began, only one question was on my mind: "Will I survive?"

All I could hear were the sounds of shelling, artillery, and the roar of tanks; the shaking of walls and windows; the screams of children; the terrified yelping of cats; and the pervasive fear. There was no safe shelter, no place to escape. Survival itself was a miracle.

But despite the pain, I learned something I had never thought about before: the value of life.

Life is not in luxury or daily routine, but in the small details... in a moment of calm after a night of bombing, in a hot meal given to a child, in moments of contemplation in nature and sunset.

I learned how to breathe deeply and listen to my heart. How to let go of negative thoughts, seize the present moment, and enjoy it with love and simplicity.

The genocide truly changed me, making me a stronger, more authentic version of myself. It taught me that despite the pain, there is always hope.

I was heartened to see the outpouring of solidarity with Palestine and the demonstrations in most world capitals. This solidarity reaffirmed my belief that we are not alone, and that our voice is still being heard.

Despite everything, we still believe in life and freedom, and we hope that the voice of truth will continue to be heard.

Then that morning I had messaged Yasmine -

Good Morning dear Yasmine. How are you and the boys today?

She replied -

My children are fine, but they experienced a terrifying night. They were screaming from the sound of the missile and the intensity of the fire. I held them close to my heart. I am so afraid for them. What did our children do to deserve having to live like this?

I said that I had heard there was a strike on the Al-Mwasi (safe zone - a densely populated city of tents - all displaced civilians, where Yasmine's family live.) I had been praying that they would be safe. I shared with her a video I had recorded from instagram - which is horrific to watch for just the few seconds. I can't begin to imagine what it would have been like to be just a few tents away from the fire - with all the sound and smell, heat and intensity of the event all around. She replied

Thank God we escaped certain death. That tent burned down near us. It was a terrifying night. The idea of a ceasefire is the biggest deception…

I replied -

I am sooo sorry for what you and your children are suffering and experiencing at this time.

But Nobody -

not man woman or child - ever ‘deserves’ to live in a genocide!!!

What did your children do to deserve having to live like this?

They chose to be born as your children in Gaza - rather than to another mother somewhere else!!!

That's all. I am sure you are glad that they came to be in your family.

It just happens that I was born here and you were born there. We're all God's children. This is all His beautiful planet. i guess the Law of Karma may play a part but I think wars are caused by human ignorance, human stupidity - and anyone living in a war-zone will suffer. When we are born here on earth we start a journey - wherever we may be born - in our various circumstances... Then the 'Game of Life' begins.

I went to a Talk at Westminster Abbey a few weeks ago - given by the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. Some statistics he gave stuck in my mind. There are currently 130 conflicts going on in the world. And over 170 million refugees

It brought home to me that there are no answers to your question 'what did our children do to deserve this?

The question can be ‘recognising that many many people are suffering more than I am and more than my children are - right now - so how many 'gratitudes' can I collect today so that I stay strong enough to support and bring happiness to others.

And to hold the prayer ‘please give me the capacity I need to stay strong and cheerful despite my horrific circumstances.’ Give me the strength to act with love and kindness even when I think I just can't take any more.

It may sound harsh. But think of all the other genocides in history. Nobody EVER deserves to be caught up in a genocide.

----------

Then I told her about yesterday -

Last night I went busking. I am very happy that my Workshop went well on Sunday

And I’m very happy that I have recovered ok as when you drive yourself too hard it can reduce your immune system. There are always a few million germs buzzing around and if we lower our immune system we are at risk of any of them invading us and making us ill. And with Christmas approaching when I spend two weeks with my family in the Midlands it would cause them problems as well as me.

(I was in bed for most of Monday and Tuesday. I had a slight sore throat, my back was on the edge of 'going out' and I was simply exhausted.)

I worry for everyone in Gaza because every day you are all forced to drive yourselves to the limits just to stay alive - and the combination of extreme hunger and cold will mean your immune systems are constantly low.

I’m very happy and grateful that my workshop has passed so now I can focus on the next bills / expenses. The dominant challenge is the Accountant. £650.00.

Technically I should have paid that before the end of November - but that was impossible. Thanks to God’s Grace he has given me an extra week - so this should be what I’m working on - but my sister invited me to come to her son’s house tonight - on the far side of London.

I wish I was feeling more positive about it. I’ve only been there once - early this year. We all had a nice meal together but afterwards I mentioned you and Jehad - two of my Gaza families. I was hoping they might help. But I think my sister was not happy. Her children are young parents and have their own struggles. My nephew has never been in touch and I’m not close to my sister… so tonight will be interesting!!!

I bought some little presents for them all - from Oxfam shop where profits go to helping people - but it still cost more than £50 and it will reduce the time I can busk tonight. I am trying to shift my thoughts from reluctance and gloom to enthusiasm!!

We absolutely have the power to create heaven or hell with our thoughts. And what we create in our own life expands to those in our family and community… and ultimately to the whole world. So my role tonight - to advance the cause of peace - is to do my best to ensure my nephew and his family (their second child was born 2 days ago) and my sister and her husband - enjoy the evening!

so that's the background. I was aware that the evening was not what I wanted and was likely to be tense and difficult. But I was also aware that what thoughts and feelings I allowed and encouraged would be significant in how the evening went. We can't choose the outer circumstances but we can choose how to respond. If we are aware of our thoughts and feelings we can direct them - and that changes everything.

----

Later - on the way home I wrote -

I was wrong about one thing - It is my sister's husband’s daughter whose baby was born two days ago, not John's family! (My sister and her husband divorced and remarried. They both have three children - so six children between them! None of the nephews and nieces keeps in touch with me - so I find it difficult to keep up with all the grandchildren!!)

It was really surprising to be invited tonight. The journey was complicated because the first train I get is mainline - from a station about 3 miles away. The best thing is that parking is free if you have a Resident Parking Permit (which is required to park in our streets - and is expensive but at least it includes parking near the stations.)

As I was walking to the station a train came. I ran as fast as I could with 5 bags - in the rain - and came out on the platform only to see that the train had not stopped on that - the usual platform - so I ran up the steps and over the bridge and down the steps - just in time to see the train pull away!!

So I had to wait for the next train….

These trains go to Waterloo Station - one of the main London Terminals. But before arriving there they stop at Vauxhall station where I needed to transfer to the underground station. I’ve lived in London more than 30 years and I use this line several times a week for busking. I’ve never known a train that stops at my local station (which is small) that doesn’t stop at all the small stations - and Vauxhall is much bigger than my station. But this one didn’t stop at Vauxhall. So I had to get another mainline train back to Vauxhall! More delay. These two unexpected complications already added half an hour to the journey.

Next I got the underground train Victoria Line right across London from south to north, to Tottenham Hale. And then I needed to change to a bus number 123. I was happy because it came quite quickly - but then, not long after we had started out, there was an announcement that it was being diverted. So I got off and walked back to the junction where we had turned off the route.

I went in a shop so I could check satnav out of the rain. I thought I’d walk but it was a 40 minute walk and raining quite heavily. I had 5 bags - one with food I was bringing left from my workshop on Sunday - mostly salad but also hummus and the bean salad I make. One bag was with my diary and Gaza posters. I often catch up with my diary on the train. One bag had little presents for the families and one was my busking backpack. Then my handbag (which is my mother’s handbag.) it has a shoulder-strap. And for some reason, although it is leather and while well-used still in good condition, the shoulder-strap decided break tonight. It’s not the leather - just the stitching - but it was an added complication holding it as a clutch-bag - it slowed me down!

I texted my sister. She advised me to walk to the nearest underground station and get the train to Walthamstow. From there I could get a different bus.

The good thing was that by this time I’d been able to get into a more positive mindset. I was just treating it as a game that The Universe / God / Allah was playing with me. An exercise in surrender!

I asked the station-staff at Walthamstow which bus I needed and where to get it from. He was very helpful. But the lift is out of order and there are a LOT of stairs at that station. I didn't yet get my usual physical 'bounce' back and was feeling tired.

I call stairs free gym and went up as fast as I could - with a smile.

A lady waiting for the 212 bus was very helpful and told me where to get out.nAnd then I had to walk back some distance and turn right and then again right! And it was still raining - but not so hard. Gratitude.

I arrived!! And my nephew John was opening the door just a crack because his crazy dog is always wanting to go for a run… or jump up and enthusiastically lick any new arrival - but I had arrived. It was just after 8pm and I left my house at 5.00. Three hours. I could travel to France in less time than that!!

I wrote all this to Yasmine while on the Victoria line underground train now heading home.

My stop - Vauxhall .

Photos

You can show your boys a bit of London!

My train is in about 20 minutes.

There’s a waiting room.

Photos

continuing to tell Yasmine the adventures...

At my nephew’s house the first thing we did was eat. I think John’s wife had already gone to bed with their little son who is 16 months and they were already asleep - so I didn’t see them this time.

My sister had made a lovely soup with beans and tomatoes. They had brought some nice bread too and my hummus and salads were well received.

We had some serious conversation about the state of the world - especially in the USA. I had been worried that the tension I caused on my previous visit by asking if they could help you and your family would make the atmosphere a bit uncomfortable - like the proverbial elephant in the room but the atmosphere was quite relaxed. We spoke about the ICE raids in America and the horrors of mr Trump’s policies… and then my sister asked how my friends in Gaza are.

So I was able to share a bit of your news… in a positive way.

I was saying that my sister and her husband have their own children and grandchildren to be thinking about and helping. In my case God has given me these 'grandchildren' to help all I can. And when you see whats happening you cant ignore it, My sisters husband agreed. We talked about news sources. He said they get The Guardian Weekly and he finds that he can't always cope with that. There are photographs which just haunt him. I was even able to give him the flier I made about your family. They are not a wealthy family and he has health issues caused by chemotherapy a few years when he had cancer. But I think it would benefit him emotionally to feel able to take positive action in helping you a bit. Or perhaps he knows someone in their village or in the church....

After the meal we cleared the table and made some Christmas decorations. My sister had asked me to bring scissors and glue and coloured papers. It was peaceful. There was a real sense of family unity and love,

This was my effort - arising from the awareness I had experienced as I set out. I saw my negative thoughts and emotions and chose to change them.

There are two types of decorations that my sister was needing - one has a design on both sides and can hang on a branch that they have in their village church - and the other is for windows in an Advent Calendar they’re making. Each window is closed with a date number on it. You open the window on that day to reveal a picture.

I made two doves - cut from patterned card. My focus is on peace.

Do your children have any pencil or pen or art materials? I was thinking you might like to join in and send the pictures on WhatsApp. I can print them and send to my sister.

Before I left I gave them their presents and although they were small and simple things they really appreciated that I’d made the effort. I think it was the best experience I’ve ever had of spending time with this corner of the family.

My older sister and her husband are planning to come to spend Christmas with this sister. They will be driving from Shetland Islands where they live - but both my elder sister and her husband are not in very good health so my (younger) sister here is worried. Will they be able to come?

I found myself wondering which of us will be heading over to join our mother in The Happy Hunting Ground first - but for now, there's work to be done, to bring a bit more peace and happiness to this beautiful planet

Well - It’s now 00.57. I reached my car. The journey home will have taken just over two hours - which is a lot better than the journey going there - but still a lot of travelling. I’m tired. Still not fully recovered from last weekend. And of course I was not able to go busking. But some days it’s impossible to get all the things done that we would like to do.

I’m just full of gratitude that the trip went so well and I was able to replace my initial reluctance with love and oneness. Also I feel it’s possible that they might even tell their other children about your family and share the leaflets I gave them at church - or with some of their friends who - like them - are supporting asylum seekers held at the old army barracks in Wethersfield. My sister and her husband had a little English Teaching business before they retired, when schools stopped employing teachers to support their immigrant children directly, so they had to become self-employed - so they are ideally qualified for helping the Asylum seekers to learn English.

One of the most exciting things for me was that my sister mentioned that her school-friend’s sister has been working with refugees for years - here in the UK, in Greece and Iraq - and is currently based in Jordan. She goes to Gaza quite regularly and may be able to help me make the mindfulness-videos that I’ve been wanting to create all year. And if it can be God’s Will then in years to come I will be able to visit Gaza and help in some way more directly to repair some of the terrible damage that these years have done…

Now I must get home. I have a stall at a Christmas Fair on Sunday and tomorrow will be making more cards to sell!

All my love - and big hugs. You can share my story and the funny videos with your beautiful boys and tell them that in years to come they will surely come to London and see these things for themselves.

And about Yasmine in Gaza - if you can share this - she needs donations to feed and provide for her three surviving children. And when she has enough income for them, she wants to re-start her charity and help the families around her.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-akrams-family-escape-the-genocide-in-the-gaza-strip

This link is for her charity

https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=DECX3749RGTKS

and this her personal Pay Pal.

I was just finishing busking on Thursday when some girls started dancing. They are from Hungary, Sweden and England.

When they shared the dance-video - I replied with these links - I’m really hoping we will get some new members here. We need some people who are able to donate and hopefully join this WhatsApp Support Yasmine Group.

Yasmine replied with a new video from Marwan, age 2. She messaged, in reply to these marathon texts from my travelling - I do hope so. The current situation is very difficult. We need donations not just for food because the current situation requires donations to buy clothes for my children. The weather is so cold.

I am aware that everyone here has their own challenges and struggles. Anyone who has a big heart will already be helping those in need. We are all doing what we can to help those who are dear to us, and more - to reduce suffering and make the world a bit happier. Many of us will be supporting projects which help others. So I am not sharing these links with any expectations. But if you know anyone who might be open - especially anyone who is following the events in Gaza and feeling helpless - wishing they could 'do something' please share these links.

0:16

7 comments