How Awareness can change everything
I had an interesting experience yesterday. My younger sister and I are very different and have never been close. I have tended to feel looked down on by her since childhood because although she is younger by 4 years she has always been better than me at pretty well everything. She is dominantly a left-brained woman of the mind. I am dominantly a right brained (probably dyslexic and dyspraxic) woman of the heart. Her family all flew in academic things and tend to be in quite prestigious well paid employment, while my son is a Carer and gets less income than he would if he were unemployed. But what makes it even more difficult is that when we last met we had a slight falling out. She had invited me for a meal at her son's house - he lives on the other side of London - about a year ago. He is a big-shot award winning journalist working for a prestigious journal. I have always liked and admired John. He is very dynamic. He cycles everywhere - distance is no barrier - and we have got on well since he was a child - but he doesn't reply to my messages so over the years we have lost touch. The meal had been pleasant, and afterwords, as I was preparing to leave, I mentioned my Gaza families and asked if they might like to donate or even adopt one of them. I showed my nephew, who had a young baby, the poster I've made for Jehad - a media worker whose wife was expecting their second baby (in a war-zone where starvation has been weaponised as part a genocide.) I showed my sister the poster for Yasmine and her family. She trained as a midwife and I asked if my sister might share the poster with her daughter who is a doctor. The atmosphere became strained and my sister made it clear that her children all have their own struggles and she doesn't want me putting what she felt was a kind of emotional blackmail on them. We have had very little contact since then, just rather uncomfortable dutiful phone calls, because we both believe that family connections matter and don't want to lose touch. I haven't heard from my nephew since, and have not felt it would be right for me to make the first move - particulalry in view of the fact that he has never replied to my messages. So my sister's unexpected invitation to come over for a meal while she and her husband had been visiting - I guess doing some babysitting - was something I responded to emotionally with mixed feelings.