A bit of a conundrum · Real Men Real Style Community

A bit of a conundrum

I’ve been getting myself a bit confused lately and it’s causing a bit of an internal identity crisis. The background is this: I’m 47 years old, turning 48 in a couple of months, and also due to finish my first university degree and graduate at the end of this year, and will be starting out fresh in a new career in nursing in 2027. I’ve always felt that I was a bit behind the 8 ball for a lot of things, felt like I wasn’t as mature, or as far along in life as my peers and that I wasn’t always kinda missing something. Anyway, throughout my studies I discovered something about myself, and last year was officially diagnosed with the neurodivergence ADHD. As I have been researching the condition, and relating it to my life and my experiences growing up, I have discovered that one of the traits of neurodivergence is that our emotional maturity develops a lot slower than neuro typical people, about one third slower in fact, which at my age puts my emotional age at around the early 30’s. What does that all have to do with style I hear you ask? Well, from the style research I’ve been doing, reading articles and watching yt vids etc, I’ve been trying to dress more my age, like a mature man pushing 50, but when I do I FEEL like I look like I’m dressing older than I am in my head (even though I’m probably not) and there seems to be a bit of a dissonance going on. Ironically, the clothes I’m wearing are probably equally suitable for a guy in his 30’s as well. If I dress a bit younger however, I feel like I LOOK like a try hard, and a bit like a department store mannequin, and it doesn’t always match the salt and pepper in my beard. So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. It probably doesn’t help that I’ve yet to really land on my signature style anyway, plus I’ve put on a bit of weight recently from hours stagnating in front of the laptop which has given me a bit more of an unusual body shape. So I guess I’m just looking for a bit of advice from anyone who might understand what I’ve got going on, or if anyone has been through a similar situation.

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A bit of a conundrum