Emotional morning · Marriage Recovery Community

Emotional morning

So yesterday we had a talk at dinner. We started looking at why we behave the way we do and talking about how our childhoods have moulded us.

I started feeling a bit more of a connection and ended up pushing too hard and made it all about myself.

It didn't end well.

I went to bed really analysing myself and have realised that my depression is much deeper than I had originally thought. I'm not the man I used to be. I've become grumpy, angry and am blaming everyone but myself.

And then I realised how much she had been doing over the last few years to try and pull me out of it. I felt so guilty.

I spoke to her about it this morning. As honestly as I could. We both broke down crying, she held my hand (first sign off any form of affection in months).

She's still planning on leaving and I understand why. I've got a lot of work to do, starting with a GP appointment today (and I think I'm going to start surfing).

I'm emotionally drained, petrified of what's around the corner but feel like I'm starting to see the real issues now.

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Emotional morning