When Motivation Isn’t the Problem: Why Willpower Gets Blamed Too Easily
Something I see all the time is people blaming themselves for 'not being motivated enough' or 'not having enough willpower'... who's guilty of saying that!? But honestly? Most of the time, motivation isn’t the problem at all. We’re very quick to make it a personal flaw. This might sound like... 'I just need to try harder', 'I need more discipline', or 'I should be better at this by now'. But what if the issue isn’t willpower… it’s capacity? If you’re exhausted, emotionally stretched, hormonally challenged, under constant stress, or juggling a lot in life, your nervous system is already working overtime. Asking it to rely on sheer willpower on top of that is like trying to run a marathon on empty. I’ve learned this the hard way. There have been plenty of times where I wanted to do the thing… but my body or mind simply didn’t have the reserves. And beating myself up never helped. What helped was stepping back and asking better questions. Not 'what’s wrong with me?', but more 'what’s going on for me right now?' Because consistency doesn’t come from forcing yourself through resistance. It comes from creating conditions that actually support you, like enough rest, realistic expectations, the right kind of movement, emotional support, and sometimes a bit of flexibility instead of pressure. So if you’re feeling stuck right now, try this reframe: Maybe you don’t need more motivation. Maybe you need more support, more space, or a different approach. So, I’m curious… What do you usually blame when things don’t stick - motivation, discipline, or something else? And what changes when you stop blaming yourself and start looking at the bigger picture? Let’s talk about it.