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3h (edited) • Communities
When Diligence Was Actually Survival
There was a season when every decision felt heavier than it needed to.
Not because direction was missing.
My plans were clear. My prayers had been prayed. My steps made sense on paper.
But something inside me would brace anyway.
An email about an expense would land and my body would tighten before my mind had time to reason. A slow week in business would pass and suddenly my effort would double, not out of vision, but out of urgency.
From the outside, it looked like diligence.
From the inside, it felt like survival.
The turning point didn’t come through a better strategy.
It came through noticing that my reaction wasn’t spiritual weakness. It wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t even unbelief.
It was protection.
My body had learned, at some point, that uncertainty required effort. That slowing down was dangerous. That trust was admirable… but control was safer.
And once I saw that clearly, something shifted.
Not overnight.
Not dramatically.
But the next time pressure showed up, there was space between the trigger and the reaction. Space to breathe. Space to choose trust instead of urgency.
That space changes everything.
If you’ve ever experienced clarity in prayer but still felt your body resist the step forward… that tension isn’t random.
It’s addressable.
I host a community called Kingdom Identity Network (KIN) where we explore that space through daily Quiet Times and at a deeper level, monthly Heart Healing and Breakthrough classes where we partner with Holy Spirit for healing and breakthrough in the area He’s highlighting for alignment.
If this felt uncomfortably familiar, you’re welcome to explore further:
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When Diligence Was Actually Survival
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