A small fall · Brojo: Confidence & Integrity

A small fall

I recently found myself out of work. The Agency I work for stopped contacting me, and even responding to my calls and messages. This has left me in some real financial stress at a time when I was just breaking free from debt. I started to think the universe was trying to break me.

Daft, right? Like the whole fucking Universe gives a damn about me.

But that was how I have been feeling.

What I feel is worse is that I am procrastinating on finding a new job. I would be thinking about what to do, finding some pathways and saying " I'll do it later".

Then I realised that I have spent my whole life ( I'm memory) doing this. I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it when I get paid etc etc.

Now, even though I have become aware of this, breaking free from this is stupidly hard. Even with advice and techniques to help, I find myself not doing anything and suddenly finding it's dark or past a deadline and I feel a sense of failure.

It is INFURIATING!!

4 comments