Some of you might already know this so for you this is just a reminder. Put in the work to get to where you want to be. Not some hyped up positivity either - what’s holding you back is you. Challenge me if you don’t believe it to be true. I’d love to chat and push you on toward greatness. Ever been told by a microwave? https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZQDVWXuHe1/?igsh=MWc5YTd2czB6OXdhOA==

Today I reached out to an extended family member about a situation of great concern. I’m hoping he’ll consider joining us here on the Saturday calls. It’s really sad that groups like this are so needed. However… It’s even better that men like you are taking time each week to come together to support the community need. Let’s go!

Men are carrying a load that's unnecessary. We tend to hold ourselves to an unfair standard. It may be arbitrary or simply it's just too far ahead. We set goals Stay busy the old way Think we aren't making progress And then summarize that we can't So we don't How fair is that? What the heck were we thinking? We change nothing and expect everything. If it repeats it's not a problem - it's a pattern. We all know the word Accountability. Truth is - it's not even a choice whether we will become accountable. We get the results, but results vary. For me there came a time 2 years ago when I had to decide if I was going to change my actions. Because of drinking I'm now heavier than I want to be because it's the outcome of the decisions I have made along the way that put me here 30 pounds heavier due to my actions. These (grabbing my gut) are FAT POUNDS. But I wanted MUSCLE POUNDS. I always wanted to weigh 180 pounds. Wouldn't you know it, I made it. I just didn't get the results that I desired. My focus was not in the right place. I took the wrong action daily. ACTION - THE ACCOUNTING I drank more beer I drank it more frequent I began to like the social me I found beer friends I risked everything for this life RESULT - THE ACCOUNT I went through tired phases I got more tired and then it was perma-tired This social me was causing me to make bad choices Those friends were the wrong ones I had a few near misses with disaster It helped me grow larger (in the wrong way) Physically I became lazier too We are accountable now, like it or not. But are we making moves? Are we clearing space in our day to allow room to insert the new thing. We must take steps on the things now that work us toward our goals. Matt mentioned on the call this week, the importance of not looking at outcomes. He's right, we need to be acting instead of postulating. Yes, planning is part but action is everything. This is all just a matter of what we are doing today. Accountability is quite positive. We tend to view accountability as a policing measure. Someone must be held accountable!!!! Yeah, in the actions - not the results. If we're just looking back - that's not accountability. That's just reviewing RESULTS of all the actions that were taken in which got us to the problem. It's not motivating, it's not positive. By it's own nature -- it's actually very negative. That's ok - negative is good in it's rightful place. It belongs on the review board. It doesn't belong on the planning board - most definitely NOT on the daily motivation board. We can't just keep reminding ourselves of failure and think we are going to improve. What are we doing? We're actually playing the wrong game! And this game sucks.

https://substack.com/@eppic888/note/c-249127598?r=8acb68&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

I'm not exactly sure where to put this one... I'm gonna drop it under "purpose and direction" because that feels closest to me... I just wanted to share this quote that I always come back to. I first heard it hears ago, and I still have this book on my to-read list, but I recently put it back to the top of the list. I haven't dug around here enough to get a sense of the political climate or tone (my honest hope is that we're leaving that at the door), regardless I know it might rub some, but if you peel back the words the author chose and dig into the sentiment behind it, it's pretty potent regardless. This is by Bell Hooks, from her book called "The Will To Change": “The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.” Read it again. Slower. Sentence by sentence. ... ... ... "acts of psychic self-mutilation"... OOOOOFFFFF!!! We are many many many generations deep into this passed-on... I don't know what to call it... hazing... indoctrination... trauma at the very least. Stripped of our right to express or even HAVE emotions, and replacing it all with shame (which... is an emotion to be clear: shame < guilt < sadness). How does it land for you? Too heavy? Fair? Spot on? Has anyone here read the book?