Hey guys I'm doing a big planning day this weekend, and much of my focus will be on improving this community. I noticed the chat has died down a bit lately, probably because I've been posting too much content. I'd love to hear from you guys what would you like to see more of/less of in this group to make it a place that's somewhere you want to visit and interact with regularly. Comment below with your ideas, or simply click some of the options I've posted in this poll

Hey everyone It's been a hell of a weekend. Brojo.org was temporarily down, now resolved , which also means my [email protected] email address can receive emails again. I'm hoping to have this resolved soon.(EDIT) I've also been banned permanently from Facebook. Not really sure why but I am sure there's nothing I can do about it. I can't even set up a new profile (face recognition prevents it). So my Groups and Pages on there are probably going to have to die slowly because I didn't think to set up a back-up admin, and Messenger obviously doesn't work for me anymore. If you need to contact me, please use WhatsApp +420605446442 I'll keep you all posted on developments thanks! Dan

Integrity sacrifices highs One of the painful truths about living virtuously, that is to say living with integrity and adhering your behaviour to align with your core values, is that it’s not as pleasurable as living hedonistically or thoughtlessly. The Stoics noticed this when they explored the virtue of Moderation, and it was probably their main issue with Epicureanism. They realised that for a longer term quality of life, short-term pleasures needed to be sacrificed. Things like gambling, drinking and promiscuity had such disastrous long-term effects that the highs these behaviours delivered simply weren’t worth the cost. When I first started building my confidence, I noticed this effect as well. While living more aligned with my core values gave me a sense of power, bravery and love for myself, I wasn’t really feeling as much pleasure as I was before. Being honest did have a certain deep reward, but emotionally did not compete with taking MDMA or thrilling people at a party with a false yet entertaining performance. On a rational level I understood that I would gain more in a total net sense by giving up alcohol and drugs, and people pleasing, and one night stands with strangers. I knew that my life would have a higher baseline quality. But I also knew that I wouldn’t feel this improvement in a strong way, like how you barely notice your body changing as you exercise consistently and eat healthy. So this raised a valid question: if it feels better to live in “sin” and just chase short-term highs, what’s the appeal of living with integrity? Continue the full article here: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/what-is-confidence/

Generally, the scientific consensus is that confident people score high in empathy; or more accurately, they do not correlate with low empathy. While people in positions of power, or narcissists, have low empathy and yet may also experience feelings of confidence, their idea of “confidence” is - in my opinion - a fragile pseudo-confidence that’s easily shattered by external factors. It's more like arrogance, certainty, and competence. However, I do have a hypothesis that building true self-confidence reduces a certain element of empathy, namely: the emotional sympathy and “caring” reaction. In other words, you care less in that you don't feel others' pain as much. Confident people don’t “care” as much emotionally as low-confidence people do. They’re not as attached to external things and people, yet they are still able to demonstrate cognitive empathy, i.e. they can rationalise other peoples’ behaviour through mentally putting themselves in the other person’s shoes. They don’t get upset about other people being upset, yet are able to comprehend why they’re upset and how they must feel. I noticed this with my own development, particularly during my time as a Probation Officer. In that job, there simply isn’t the mental room and resources available to become upset over every upsetting thing, because there’s too many of them! When you deal with drug addicts and rapists and gang members every day, “upsetting” becomes mundane. You develop a numbness to the horror and sadness. I imagine it’s similar for military and medical staff. You can’t feel much because you simply wouldn’t be able to do your job. You’re also in a type of work that requires the development of self-confident traits, like decisiveness, assertiveness, courage, backing yourself, leadership, and even a touch or more of ruthlessness. It doesn’t remove your empathy, but it does transform it into something more efficient and practical. I’ve known some highly empathetic people - in the emotional sense - and they quite simply struggle to function on a daily basis. They’re the ones who are devastated by the wars they see on the news, and are constantly wrapped up in the social dramas of their friends. If their parents are sick, an empath won’t be able to sleep for the worrying. If their child loses his favourite toy, the overly empathetic parent will grieve more than the kid does.

Hey guys, on the call coming up let's explore the concept of "rejection" in all it's forms - whether it's a girl saying No to you, a boss criticizing your performance, or a friend not returning your texts, lets unpack the fear and shame that comes up when we perceive someone to disapprove of us