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22d •
Anyone else feel like they've outgrown their friend group over this?
Does anyone else feel like they've kind of outgrown their friend group when it comes to this topic? 😅 At my age.. honestly, the hardest part of this whole marriage search journey hasn't even been the search itself. It's been how alone I feel in it. Most of my friends got married in their early-mid 20s. They're in a completely different season now.. talking about their kids, their in-laws. And I love them, I really do, but when I try to bring up something I'm going through, like a feeling that fell through or how exhausting it is to keep vetting people and getting disappointed, I just get the "it'll happen when Allah wills it" response and the conversation moves on. It's not that they're wrong. It WILL happen when Allah wills it. But sometimes I just need someone to sit with me in the "this is hard right now" instead of rushing to the "it'll be fine" part. And then there's the other side of it.. the sisters my age who also aren't married yet. Half the time it feels like we're either comparing our situations or subtly competing, instead of actually supporting each other. Or they're so deep in their own frustration that it just becomes a venting match instead of an actual conversation. I didn't expect that the loneliest part of trying to get married would be not having anyone who really gets it. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel this too? How have you dealt with it?
4 likes • 22d
Definitely not just you! I have my married friends constantly also sharing about how miserable they are and how I should stay single. And my single friends constantly sharing how there’s no good men left and a whole list of other things that I try really hard to shift my mindset around. I literally told my single friend group last year to not bring up marriage when they’re around me because the thought of the same constant loop of there’s no good men, they’re this and that, was getting frustrating. But yes, it’s definitely a lonely place to be right now ☹️ I was just on a flight praying for Allah to not give me marriage if it means more loneliness because there’s nothing worse than being surrounded by people and feeling lonely. And that’s how I feel right now with some of my friend groups ☹️ all this to say, you’re not alone. I get it. It is a frustrating feeling and it’s definitely lonely when you constantly feel like you can’t share your truth and feel heard
May 23 •
Arafa duas
Salam girlies, I was thinking we could post our duas here and include each other in our duas on Arafa day. Make dua for me that Allah accepts all my duas with afiyah and barakah soon and that he mends me in a way that astonishes the people of the heavens and the earth that is not followed by another heartbreak, and that he recompenses me and open his sustainance gates for me with more than I cam comprehend and grants me succes in all my affairs and all that I have set out to do and started and my uni degree and career all of it with afiyah and barakah and ease and may he do the same for you and more ya rabb.💞 Drop your duas below so that I can add them to my list 🫂
1 like • May 23
You beat me to it! I was literally just about to post asking if someone wants me to add them specifically to my Arafat du’a. I know we’re all looking to get married lol but please comment here and I’ll come back and add it to my list inshallah. I’ll post mine shortly inshallah
Apr 9 •
Freezing Your Eggs Prior to Marriage
Asalamalaykum sisters, My name is Kulsum, and I’m based in the States. I’m in my early 30s, and most of my friends are around the same age. We’re all doing well in different aspects of life—except when it comes to marriage (though, of course, everything is by Allah’s will). Lately, I’ve been trying to understand and process something that’s been on my mind. Some of my friends have started discussing the idea of freezing our eggs before marriage, given the uncertainty around finding the right person and the risk of declining fertility as we age. When I mentioned this to my mom and sister, they said it shows a lack of trust in Allah and that I’m being negative about the future. I’m wondering—does considering egg freezing really mean I don’t trust Allah, or am I just overthinking things?
1 like • Apr 13
@Jinan Akh Ameen ya rab. Ya Subhanallah the human body is fascinating. I never liked science growing up but recently I pivoted to alternative medicine after years of dealing with health issues, and subhanallah, Allah designed us for intricately and our body systems are much more nuanced and connected and complex than modern medicine makes it seem. Like the idea of seeing a specialist for each body part is actually so backwards and I think that’s why there’s sicker humans. You know what makes me sad, the amount of women with serious hormonal issues and now you see it with younger women. Makes me sad. May Allah give every sick person shifaa
1 like • Apr 21
@Jinan Akh Ameen ya rab. I completely agree. People are waking up and I like to remind myself and others that medicine is not an exact science. Like you said what works for some doesn’t always work with everybody. My favorite GP that I’ve ever had was the one that told me he didn’t know and would take the time to research instead of gaslighting me which many many many drs have done
Apr 7 •
The Clarity Doesn't Come Before The Conversation 👀
Can I be real with you for a second? So many sisters are sitting with questions they have never said out loud. About their situation. About what to do next. About whether they are doing this right. And they keep waiting. Waiting for the right time. Waiting until things are clearer. Waiting until they feel more ready. Sis… the clarity does not come before the conversation. It comes FROM it 💜 That is why I am offering a FREE 20-minute call where we sit down together, look at where you are, and figure out your next move the right way. No pressure. No pitch. Just clarity 🌸 Spots are limited so do not sit on this one 👇 🔗https://mindful-muslimah.com/qualify-20-minute-call-muslimmarriageaccelerator/
4 likes • Apr 9
@Habibatul Aulia I think Subhanallah sometimes I get frustrated when I can’t financially access something I feel would support me in getting to where I’m going and sometimes, when there’s a lot piled on, I make it mean that I’m not worthy. But the reality is, it just means it’s not the path I’m meant to go down. That’s all! And then you find out there’s other more accessible paths and alhamdulillah when Allah closes a door, Al-Hadi will guide you to what you need instead. Just posting in case anyone else needs to hear this.
1 like • Apr 21
@Aseel Himeidan Ameen ya rab
Apr 9 •
✨ The Kind of Love Worth Waiting For
Not every connection is meant to become a marriage. One sister said, “I stopped chasing chemistry and started valuing consistency.” The right man won’t confuse you, pressure you, or make you shrink. He’ll be steady, intentional, and clear. Love rooted in deen feels calm.. not chaotic. What does a healthy, halal love look like to you? 🤍
1 like • Apr 12
@Aseel Himeidan it’s true though if you think about it. That’s why for women, some of the advice is get married to someone at your level because otherwise, it’s a lot of compromise. Granted for some it’s fine and you’re willing but to compromise but at the time that this came up, the guy was asking me to compromise even more with my rights and to me it already felt like a huge compromise that I eventually had to walk away. Now with all the clarity of the world, I know I’m willing to compromise but the bar is set and for being in my 30s, I’m not asking for a mansion. Literally basic Islamic rights and I know what is comfortable for me and what isn’t alhamdulillah. Like it shouldn’t feel like I’m starting from scratch after I’ve been able to give myself a certain lifestyle on my own with very minimal inconsistent support from family for the last 11yrs
1 like • Apr 21
@Aseel Himeidan yesss! I heard that Hadith too. And I was the same. Did me, I’ve also been able to provide for myself a certain standard, so why accept waaay less when it makes no sense to
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