I'd love to get a list going of people's favorite books or current reads! (or if you've written a book yourself, feel free to share that as well!). If you'd be so inclined, please feel free to share in this space. Also, if there's a book you would NOT recommend, share that too. I'm curious! My current reads: The Bible-trying to make this a daily habit Podvig Catch-22 Why the kids aren't growing up Soundtracks People of the Lie Thinking Fast and Slow Pissed Off With a Purpose: Waging War on Fear My most recent reads: An Arsenal of Gratitude-Waging War on Mediocrity and Regret (shoutout to @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac --it's written by him and it's amazing!!). Dune Crazy busy The Great Alone In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addictions Fight Club Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder Disappointment with God Kasher in the Rye (NOT to be confused with Catcher in the Rye) Favorite Books: Man's Search for meaning-viktor frankl Elements-Transfiguration of Elijah -anonymous priest in the oriental orthodox church Daring Greatly (and a bunch of Brene Brown's other work--Gifts of Imperfection; I thought it was just me but it wasn't; Braving the Wilderness) Screwtape Letters and the Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis Atomic Habits Brother's Karamazov and Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky Welcome to the Orthodox Church by Fredericka Matthews Greene (I'll continue adding, these are just top of mind right now! ) Thank you for the inspiration @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac Please add to the list: @Aleksandra Nedelkoski @Anastasia Cocioaba @Andres Mateo @George Arhip @Loren Angelo @Britni Burton @Tim Blacke @Christa Lovas @Anastasia Cocioaba @LaTanya Carter @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac @David Pepper @David Pepper @Dayna Kanouna @Dr. Melissa Partaka @John D @Rachel Featherstone @Julia Groth @William Guy @Kimberly Poirier @Lisa Papiez @Lisa Vanderveen @Mary Seguin @Michael Mcknight @Michelle Mann @Moni Matysiak @Rina Maniou @Ronnie McCabe @Peter Oconnell @Ruth aka Grace Rose @Ryanne Ryan @Tracy Stewart @Adriana Filip @Jennifer Chatle @Anna Lh @Brittany Hone @Chris Wendt @Jose Colon @Yvonne Green @Linda Short @Nicole Johnson @Julie Nelson @Stephanie Riley @Tharuk M @Vasi Smith @Wesley Penner @Chris Wendt

Spotlight on @Dan 'Remmy' Stourac for today! He has written multiple books, including: An Arsenal of Gratitude: Waging War on Mediocrity and Regret (i like books that don't repeat themselves--this book delivered so well last month! New things to ponder in each chapter) Pissed Off with a Purpose: Waging War on Fear He also runs his own community here: prospirit

The Balcony View-Gaining Perspective Without Disconnecting The "balcony view" is a psychological skill that often gets overlooked and is underutilized IMHO, yet it can change the entire tone of how we respond to stress and heightened emotion situations. Instead of getting swept up in the heat of the moment, this is an opportunity to mentally step up to a higher perspective and look at the situation like you are watching it unfold from above. This creates just enough distance to think more clearly. Nerd Alert (some science behind it): The balcony view works because it activates metacognition (awareness of our own thoughts/thinking) and recruits areas of the prefrontal cortex that support reflection, emotional regulation, and decision making. The ventromedial prefrontal cortex calms the fear (fight/flight/freeze/fawn ) response. The anterior cingulate cortex helps shift attention so you can see the bigger picture instead of fixating on the trigger. This is very different from dissociation. Dissociation pulls you into fog and detachment. The balcony view pulls you into clarity and a level of control/intentionality. It's a strategic shift so that emotions are there to inform but not to be in the driver's seat. It's a way to increase emotional intelligence and when engaged it has the potential to diffuse heightened situations. How to do it: To practice it, take a deep breath and pause before reacting Imagine yourself taking a few mental steps upward (as if climbing to get the balcony view of a play) and then watch the scene as if it were happening on a stage. Notice the facts, the emotions, and the choices available. No judgment--if there are judgments, notice them as such. The point of this is to just observe the situation and gather information. The more you use it, the easier it becomes to respond with clarity instead of impulse. (and a resource on processing emotions :) ). What are your strategies for making space for and honoring your emotions but not letting them rule in a conflict?

A little personal background (not necessary to read to get the content below): Back in 2017 I had decided that 2018 was going to be a "Year of Yes" (title inspired by Shonda Rhymes--creator of Grey's Anatomy and Scandal). Out of necessity rather than desire, I've had to make some bold and uncomfortable moves in 2017 and I told myself that 2018 had to be different.. It HAD to for my own sanity..I didn't want to be a spectator in my own life and wanted to be an active agent... So...that year consisted of saying yes to all sorts of things--yes to doing deep work (thank you Bible/God, thank you Brene Brown, thank you other books and friends), yes to things that scared me (e.g. speaking at a seminar, doing a radio show, running a self esteem workshop, doing activities solo, saying 'no' to things that didn't fit what I actually needed), saying yes to different connections ( @LaTanya Carter -I appreciate you more than you'll ever know!!!) . I stumbled A LOT and fell often, but I also became more confident, more independent, more conscientious of boundaries, more of myself. As a result of 2018, 2019 became my 'resurrection' year or my 'phoenix' year. Rising from the ashes. (Funny that it coincided with my 33rd year in life-maybe that's why I called it the resurrection year). So....as I'm reflecting on this past year and coming up into the next, I figured it's time...It's time for another "Year of Yes". I think it's been brewing. ______________BEGIN THE REAL POST________________________________ *Please watch the video if you have th time. :) :) People hear the phrase a "Year of Yes" and automatically think that it means impulsive decisions, saying yes to a bunch of new activities, being busy with all sorts of things, "bucket list"...But the reality is that it's more like..exposure therapy for the soul. It's breaking up with things that hold you back from living an aligned life. It's saying no to things like unhelpful fear, perfectionism, people pleasing, overthinking, self-doubt and the "maybe later" type language.

I wrote about clarity in decisions in the post here:decisions-because-you-cant-keep-dating-every-option There are some strategies there, but below are a few more with some elaboration:) Enjoy! (The initial options for decision making were these, in case you don't go to that other post...but I hope you do go! • Know your values: Decisions get easier when they reflect who you want to be • Check your nervous system: Regulate first. A calm mind makes smarter choices • Name the tradeoffs: Every yes requires a no. Clarity comes from acknowledging the cost • Commit: Once you choose, stop reopening the question. This builds confidence and mental strength ) The elaboration: 1. Set your criteria before you choose -Indecision often comes from not knowing what “good” looks like. Decide your criteria before you evaluate options. This keeps emotions from hijacking the process and reduces cognitive load. 2. Time box your choices -Give yourself a specific window to decide. The brain performs better with constraints because it reduces analysis paralysis. Short deadlines force clarity. Sometimes I struggle with this because a self imposed timeline feels arbitrary because i can always change it (but then I guess I'm not showing integrity with myself and I guess that's not good..) 3. Run the “future identity” test Ask: Does this choice serve the person I am becoming? Not the person you are today but the version you’re working toward. This uses the psychological principle of “self continuity” to pull you toward long term goals. 4. Evaluate the opportunity cost honestly Every yes has a silent no built into it. Name the no. This keeps your decisions aligned with your values instead of default habits! Name the NO. Find ways to create friction so that choosing the no is harder. Find ways to decrase friction so that the yes is easier. 5. Get out of your head and into data