I saw this little meme the other day that said "Unfortunately, I want to do everything! And I want to do it all excellently, immediately, and with no learning curve!". This encapsulates my energy towards wanting to do SO many things. I don't mind the hard work that it takes to learn something new (I tend to embrace the suck that comes along with learning), BUT I do mind that it comes with the time commitment and at the expense of being able to do other things. We live in a land of excess...ahem, I mean, opportunities. Sometimes the availability of so many options really can really impact the cognitive load which then affects decision making, starting, and follow through. Mental fatigue isn't always caused by "doing too much". A lot of times, it's caused by asking our brains to manage too many unnecessary decisions, distractions, and competing demands all at once. The goal of this post is to help to move us from reactive thinking ("backseat driving") to intentional thinking ("Front-seat driving"). 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐲 1. 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐄𝐎 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 (𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐞) Not ever y choice deserves a board meeting in our brain... Reduce small, repetitive decisions whenever possible. Create routines, meal plans, workout schedules, or standardized processes. The fewer unnecessary choices we make, the more brainpower we save for decisions that actually matter. 2. 𝐏𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐭 (𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤) While our brains may appreciate novelty (yay new neural connections), it does not thrive in chaos. Create dedicated blocks for focused work instead of constantly switching between tasks. Every time we jump around, our brain pays a "refocus tax." 3. 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝 𝐚 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 If our environment is screaming for our attention, our brain is fighting a battle before it can even begin. Clear your workspace and remove distractions. Remove clutter, silence notifications, put your phone in a different room. Make the 'right' action the easiest action. The easier it is to begin a task, the less willpower and cognitive effort are required to get started.

What do you think makes a good life? What have been the best parts of your life? What about the small day to day moments?

I went to catch myself a sunrise yesterday morning. On my way to 'the spot', I noticed a soccer ball sitting alone in the field--there were no people in sight (likely because it was 5:30a.m., ha!). But looking at this ball got me thinking about how we lose things or how we can be 'left behind'. Made me think about how sometimes we fumble things or we are fumbled and through negligence, distraction or to being caught in the crossfire of someone else's stuff (or them being caught in the crossfire of our own stuff) we end up losing things. Sometimes we can recover them but sometimes not. And...Sometimes those things are more important than soccer balls. Funny enough, on my way back from this walk, there were four men that were gently kicking the ball around as they were walking... Perhaps they will also leave the ball behind for different reasons, but it was also a reminder of how being fumbled doesn't have to be the end of the story. --------- Most of us don't lose important relationships because we wake up one day and decide they don't matter. More often, they fade through distraction, neglect, competing priorities, stress, assumptions, or simply the busyness of life. Sometimes it's related to wounds that they/we haven't tended to and we/they end up as collateral damage in something that doesn't even have to do with us/them. We become consumed with our own struggles or focused on someone else's, and before we realize it, something valuable has been left behind. 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐬. Like muscles, they strengthen through (healthy) use and weaken through disuse or misuse. There are things that keep relationships alive: healthy attention, responsiveness, shared experiences, shared values and visions, shared rhythm of life... Without those, emotional distance can emerge. It's not necessarily through malice (usually it's not), but through impermanence. 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞.People change (or, more likely, their focus is more likely to change). Circumstances change. Roles change. What felt effortless at one stage of life may require intention at another (think kids-when a couple could just effortlessly spend time together, now they have to be very intentional about that time).

Not sure how long the link will be active but it was a good reminder! https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXHNvnGkbEm/?igsh=ZjZ3anNlc21wdzh6

*Feel free to skip the intro and go into the strategies at the bottom if you'd like!*** ----------------------------------------------- A few weeks ago, I felt like I hit a wall. (That sounds more extra than it is/was). I was looking around at all the things that I wanted to do and how it felt like I wasn't making any progress and also how it felt that forces outside of myself were impeding movement even when I had the energy/motivation/oomph to make things happen. I felt defeated and that is a feeling that I DO NOT experience often and I DID NOT like it one bit. I bounce back, I pivot, I change course, I remain optimistic-perhaps even delusionally so, ha! In short, I show up. I see opportunities for growth and improvement in most situations, so it's hard for me to stay down. I love this about myself so it felt extra challenging when it felt like I was stuck and when it felt like I wasn't myself. Strange feeling. I only remember feeling like this maybe 3 other times in my life. Thankfully, each time, there was a 'cause' or things that I can point to that needed tending to, so experience has taught me that this was solvable but I needed the reminder. (So super thankful for the conversations that I've had recently that helped me with recalibration. Beyond grateful). I also needed to recognize three things: 1) the values that were at play that contributed to me thinking that I had limited options , 2)the expectations and 3)the strategies to employ to get me back to feeling like movement was happening. Look at me being a human being. Who would have thought?! ha. I'm just kidding, I know I'm a human. Below I'm going to focus on some research backed strategies to help with reframing our mindset and keep the momentum alive even when things feel like they're not moving. :) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. 1. 𝐈𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲 "𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐩" 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 "𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞" First, know that what you’re feeling is actually a normal part of any bold venture.