... may sound weird and scary, yet I find it deeply empowering. This insight from the community meeting nr. 59 is one of my key takeaways from the program so far. Essentially everything I do is in the service of the self, satisfying its desires and avoiding any perceived risk and discomfort. It is like this crazy dictator whose every whim must be fulfilled. Realizing that the self doesn't actually matter all that much is then liberating. I can do staff that I want to do or that is necessary to accomplish a goal and not worry about the possible negative consequences for the self. F.ex. I can go and praise the colorful jacket of an unknown lady at the bus stop, even though I risk being seen as a weirdo and embarrassing myself or her. Who gets hurt when I encounter rejection, negative judgement, or some such? Just my self, and, as I've realized, it doesn't matter all that much. Similarly with its desires: I can satisfy them, but it is also perfectly fine to ignore them, if they are not in line with more important stuff. Again, the self is not an absolutistic ruler and I don't need to do everything it wants. So liberating! So empowering!

Hey, This is more of a "casual" kind of inquiry, anyone feel free to hop in, I just thought I'd share a real experiential consideration I'm beggining to actually contemplate called integrity. As an experience, what does that look like? Maybe it's easier to look at what NOT integrity is, and use that as a model to better help understand what alternative is, and if it's happening within us. I'd wager, from my own personal perspective, integrity can be described as one part not fighting against another. No disintegration. To become whole. No "split" in consciousness between one aspect and another. But the big thing is, what are REALLY the consequences, of having versus not having integrity? I'd say first off, obviously, is a certain kind of lack of self honesty that can go on. You literally have the one aspect, what your most genuine sense or observation of what is actually going on or true about anything, and if we have a SPLIT in our integrity, then you start to turn away" from that, as if. You literally have a split between "what is true," in your most honest perspective, and "whatever you're trying to do." Your "perceptions" or activities are not aligned with your Most honest perceptions or awareness, as goofy as that sounds. Then obviously, in your life, you lose an ability to be in touch with what you want or what you're trying to do. You know, the whole "I don't know what I want to do with my life" or "lacking motivation" thing. You have on the one hand this idea of something you want to attain, but then on the other you wanna sit on your ass. A spit. There's this misalignment that can come along, a "confused awareness" when a being is less "whole," if that makes sense. If you really want that, why aren't you working for it? Maybe you WANT to sit on your ass but don't admit that to yourself. Or maybe there's a more complex thing happening you need to be more honest with yourself enough to find out. And the big thing, I swear to God, is that this shit is really not moral. Seems more like a "fact" or principle. No a "system," just seems like when things are out of whack or "misaligned," shit is bound to happen.

“There doesn’t need to exist a territory for there to be a map, even though a map may arise from a territory.” Having a thought or concept about an apple does not necessarily guarantee its existence, even though an existence of an apple allows for a concept or representation of it. Just something I thought Id share something that occurred to me recently. Thank you.

I'm having a dawning realization on just the nature of what I think is a lot of people's problems are and things that get in the way of learning as well. I'm noticing that a lot of crappy stuff that goes on that creates suffering in people's experiences and maybe inhibits people's abilities in learning stuff is just having a complex mind. As in there's just a bunch of shit being juggled around time to time. Like how you want to live your life you might have a million and one ideas of what it should be and this and that. Maybe making it hard to choose. Or if you wanted to learn something you might just start juggling around a lot of concepts trying to "figure it out." Been then there's just a simplicity in just paying attention to what's going on. Juggling around concepts and coming up with ideas seems to be the "thing to do" a lot of the time, but it kinda seems like the solution to a lot of our sufferings might honestly lean in the other direction. I think even in learning stuff too. Simplicity in living can look like an ease where you don't have to second guess yourself, and decisions can become clearer just by questioning or living. Simplicity in learning can look like the material ITSELF becomes the teacher, and your paying attention to the act or reality of it is what becomes the lesson. Less preconceptions I can even notice it in "combat," or even social interactions. Just move your body, mess around, do the thing. Stop "thinking" about it so much and actually participate. Funny how something so simple and in your face can be so powerful. Just doing the thing. Or when socializing, just get the dude across from you. Don't dramatize it or make crazy shit out of it. Just get him. Not even to mention how much more freeing of a life it can feel. Simple and direct. Reminds me of a quote somewhere that went something like "Zen is the de-symbolization of the world." Could just be a useful direction in general. Can feel a bit contemplative at times. Could be the direction in which contemplation "leans." Outside of all the "concepts," or "chatter." Just what is actually true