I recently completed a 10 day silent meditation retreat, and on this retreat I had the realization that what we call the "mundane" is actual a beautiful place to be, possibly the best place to be. When most people sit alone with nothing to do they go to boredom, loneliness, self conflict and fantasy. Yet when we move through those things or stop doing them, we become present. We rest in Being. There is nothing to do but listen to the sounds, breathe, rest in awareness. This to me is the pinnacle of existence, just Being, presence. Yet, most people see this as hell, so they go on chasing trivial things. Yet to me the real hell is being a slave to some idea that you need to be someone, or live a unique exciting life and be special. Recently i've been contemplating "specialness" and dropping this whole pain in the ass notion that I am somehow special or unique and it's been a great relief. Thanks for reading.

Today i was contemplating distance, and had the insight that distance is actually a concept. The idea of "me being in here behind the eyes" is conceptual, thus the idea of "me here, wall there" must be conceptual, and therefor the idea of "distance between me and wall" must also be conceptual. As I was contemplating this along with other aspects of mind like "inside the skull, emotions, sense of self, beliefs and thoughts" I began to wonder...Where does any of this actually exist? It can't be coming from inside my head or brain because even that notion is a concept that I am doing, so it must just be imagined out of pure nothingness "thin air" if you'd like. Anyone come across this? Cheers

One of the most radical ideas I came across in Ending Unnecessary Suffering was in the section on loneliness. Ralston says one ideation is that we live in an existentially isolated inner world, which leads to a sense of disconnect and therefore we need others to complete the experience. I do see a possibility of feeling that your isolated inner world is complete as it is, so that you don’t need another to view it to feel as such. However, the idea that the private inner world itself is a concept is so radical to me. I don’t know how to wrap my mind around it. It is incredibly obvious to me that I have thoughts, beliefs, self-judgements, etc. that are simply not observable by other people. Only I can witness them unless I share them. Does anyone have any insight into investigating this?

Basically been grinding peters podcasts all over again and again, and everytime I ended up with this weird sense that i'm just not getting it, watched "how to stop self-destructive behaviour" one like 7 times already and It's just glimpses in my own experience of how much I actually grasp in there, but oh boy "why people hate being mundane" hit me like a truck. Basically what I did I've just noticed that there's such a thing in a first place, secondly that we run from it, and lastly we live our whole lives like this, funny that many people doesn't even consider about this, exactly like me, been doing this whole life. So i've sitted with it for more time and i've just started to connect the dots from all of the podcasts, like I could see that thoughts are distractions(self-made), all of the action we take is distractions, everything is a distraction when it comes to this, then i noticed emotions, i even laughed cause how can be emotion happening in nothingness without me doing it. Wanted to share this so much, cause it feels very profound when it comes to this work, now I can start integrating this into my daily life not just moments where nothing special is happening. anyone knows what i'm talking about? or i'm just fkin crazy, cause this one seems like root of everything, of every problem of every emotion you don't want, like just go and live from this state, in this state these thing has no possibility to happen cause they're just not there. And if you're further then this I would love to get some directions to look further, but for now i will keep looking at mundane until i get everything there is from it. Biggest question for me right now is why do we run from it in the first place and what is it even. Lets get back to work, also i'm grateful for answers and this community, peace✌️