Robins Breakthrough Story · New Earth Community

Robins Breakthrough Story

Step 1: Before

What did your daily life look like before your transformation? What beliefs, habits, or patterns defined you at that time? Who or what shaped your world during this phase?

My world consisted of quick fixes - either sex, drugs, or jumping from friendships to new pursuits. A life filled with frustration, a burning hunger to want more - more substance, more connection, more purpose.

I worked my 9-to-5 job and hated it, despised the people I worked with, and did everything to improve my days. Everything that happened to me and my own frustration, I blamed on everyone around me. I blamed my drug use on the people I used with. When work didn't function, I blamed it on those I worked with. I blamed my relationship entirely on my woman, whom I wanted more to be my mother than my sexy lover and partner. I was numbed by drugs to be able to be a father. I was high to dare to go play and be around people.

I was born into the addiction of fleeing from myself and started using at 16. By 20, it was daily use. I found music/psytrance at 23, which temporarily saved me - it gave me a beautiful context and a way to express myself for the first time through dance and movement. I started DJing at 25.

Step 2: The Breaking Point

What event, realization, or challenge shook up your life? How did it make you feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually? What did you realize you could no longer ignore?

The moment I understood that I had lost myself - that I identified with my job. I had a wife who didn't trust me and didn't feel safe around me, and I felt completely empty. A body filled with steroids and drugs, an empty shell that neither felt itself nor allowed anyone to come close. I needed to heal something from outside to make me feel.

Somewhere here, on the verge of having no friends left, having moved away from my children, having destroyed my DJ career with drugs, and nearly shut out my wife - I understood that I had to do something different. I didn't know what, but something had to happen.

Step 3: The Turning Point

What actions did you take to navigate the change? Who or what gave you the courage to keep going? What obstacles or fears did you have to face?

The only way I knew how to do anything was to do something radical. I made sure I got away to my first men's retreat, and during this weekend, I was questioned by another man for the first time. During a simple exercise, he saw straight through my masks - so painful and so beautiful. What felt like the first time being seen and feeling a longing from another man who wanted more of me.

After this weekend, I made sure to get fired from my second job immediately, and with zero money in my pocket, I started my own business. After getting a taste of being in a context with other people who want to develop themselves, who want to be seen and support each other, I jumped into a program for men's work and personal development.

I learned to bring out my inner fire and let it nourish me and drive me forward. Through this change, I had to face fears of starting to be myself more, fears of starting to feel and be myself. I put mine and my wife's finances at rock bottom through my business and did everything not to let go of it when I really should have. I lied to myself and to everyone else. I had found my calling and refused to let go of it and see the truth and be authentic with myself.

I received tools to work with, but when I hadn't met my own darkness, it gave more shadows than light. I got a boosted ego but became even more disconnected from my heart.

Step 4: The Struggle

What was the hardest moment you encountered? How did doubt, fear, or external resistance challenge you? What strengths did you discover as you pushed through?

I had a part of me that wanted to create more, help more, stand in service more - the part of me that I thought came from the heart but actually came from the ego. A part of me that wanted to get something out, instead of giving something from unconditional love. The other part of me tried to comfort myself by being good, being good and helping my wife - a part of me that expected to get a pat on the head.

The more I wanted to be good, the more my wife questioned where I was. She shared more and more of her feelings, and I couldn't handle it. The more she showed, the more angry and distant I became. I had a wounded boy within me who hadn't been taken care of.

I had received the tools to create my dream life. But when I hadn't been true to myself, it didn't matter how much I used them - I took one step forward and two steps back. This created massive frustration, feeling that change was knocking on my door but never stepping through.

I learned that one of the absolute best ways to see myself and get a reflection was to be in an intimate relationship, and that instead of pushing my wife away, I should start letting her in. I understood that if I could embrace all of me, I would also be able to embrace the world and create my dream life.

Step 5: The Breakthrough

What was the moment of clarity or resolution? Who or what helped you find your breakthrough? What tangible changes happened in your life afterward?

The day I chose that a sober life would be the path that would take me to my recovery and give me the keys to start opening up to all of me. By starting to ask the difficult questions to myself and starting to feel, opening up to my past and embracing the parts I had tried to hide and run from my whole life. Playing the long game and choosing away the quick kicks.

When I understood that it was through giving something away that I would get even more back. By embracing my wife for all she was instead of saying and thinking what she should be. Starting to love myself for all of me, integrating my darkness with my light.

By understanding that I had brought values from my previous life into my expansion that made me stand still. That I thought I had to struggle for money instead of having fun and earning it effortlessly. That I had to be good to deserve love instead of letting love flow through me and letting life flow just as it was. That everything is energy and that I am a channel for that flow. That by choosing what I want energetically and embodying it, I create it. That the only way to create what I want around me was to create it within me.

Step 6: The Transformation

What is the biggest transformation you've experienced? How has your story shaped your purpose and the way you serve? What advice or encouragement would you give someone starting their own journey?

That I now love to live every day, that I love to experience life through all the miracles that happen every day. That when I let life flow freely through me, magic happens - life opens up and gives me everything I wanted. When I let go of control over how everything must go and instead trust that life gives me exactly what I should have when I should have it.

I have the power and love to create everything I want. I trust myself and I love myself. I am humble and at the same time determined. I have a wife who loves me for all I am and supports me 1000%. I have people around me who support me in the journey I've chosen to take.

I have understood that everything I've experienced in life up until now is a gift and my obligation to share with the world. That when I embrace every moment in presence for exactly what it is, all possibilities exist.

My advice is to start by creating a world within you that you want to live in. Embrace all your parts with humility, laughter, and love. Life is that we practice dying with style every day, so make sure to live every day as fully as you can. When you've created a place within you where you can be with yourself, that world will be created around you.

Translated from swedish with GPt :D

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