Robins Breakthrough Story
Step 1: Before What did your daily life look like before your transformation? What beliefs, habits, or patterns defined you at that time? Who or what shaped your world during this phase? My world consisted of quick fixes - either sex, drugs, or jumping from friendships to new pursuits. A life filled with frustration, a burning hunger to want more - more substance, more connection, more purpose. I worked my 9-to-5 job and hated it, despised the people I worked with, and did everything to improve my days. Everything that happened to me and my own frustration, I blamed on everyone around me. I blamed my drug use on the people I used with. When work didn't function, I blamed it on those I worked with. I blamed my relationship entirely on my woman, whom I wanted more to be my mother than my sexy lover and partner. I was numbed by drugs to be able to be a father. I was high to dare to go play and be around people. I was born into the addiction of fleeing from myself and started using at 16. By 20, it was daily use. I found music/psytrance at 23, which temporarily saved me - it gave me a beautiful context and a way to express myself for the first time through dance and movement. I started DJing at 25. Step 2: The Breaking Point What event, realization, or challenge shook up your life? How did it make you feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually? What did you realize you could no longer ignore? The moment I understood that I had lost myself - that I identified with my job. I had a wife who didn't trust me and didn't feel safe around me, and I felt completely empty. A body filled with steroids and drugs, an empty shell that neither felt itself nor allowed anyone to come close. I needed to heal something from outside to make me feel. Somewhere here, on the verge of having no friends left, having moved away from my children, having destroyed my DJ career with drugs, and nearly shut out my wife - I understood that I had to do something different. I didn't know what, but something had to happen.