Matrescence Assignment · Mental Load Basics

Matrescence Assignment

Something that I give my partner grace for in her matrescence: when there are issues beyond my control that are taken out on me, I try to understand that there are issues beyond me and that I don’t need to make it about me. Mommy guilt: gently nudging and asking her to go out to brunch or other meals without forcing it, an open-ended offer to do so.
A societal expectation that I think weighs on her in her matrescence: Mommy guilt of feeling that everyone is judging her for what our kids look like, act like; breastfeeding and the ups/downs that come with it, along with the inability to be away from our infant for more than a couple of hours, that she has to lose weight quickly after giving birth.

• 3. A privilege I experience in becoming a father rather than going through matrescence: I do not have a baby inside or attached to me for the last 6 years, and my body has only changed due to what I’ve done (eating or exercising). My weight hasn’t fluctuated by 30% while I physically carried a child inside me, and my internal organs have never moved. My clothes still fit, I can still buy the same clothes, nobody will judge the clothes I wear based on how many kids I have. Others won’t judge me based on how my kids look or act.

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