I remember my first four fathers days wanting to be about me as a person more so than me as a father in my relationship with my child. I select all day out doing other things and/or just wanting Alyssa to be the default parent. This year we had grandparent support and 3 kids vs 1, I noticed that I just wanted to spend time w/our 4 y/o as it didn’t always feel like I got to invest in that relationship the same way. I’m curious how the seasons of fatherhood have driven the interest for how to spend fathersday for yall?

I’m working on chapter 1 and curious if ppl have a phrase they resonate with more. I think much of society expects men to being mostly emotionless, besides anger, resulting in lack of emotional literacy. I might call this being a rock or her rock. Is a phrasing that feels more familiar?

Usually when I get defensive I am unwilling to feel or communicate one of my emotions. Which of these do you think is the most common one that causes you or your partner to get defensive? Anger- Shame - Guilt - Fear - Lonely - Sad - Hurt -

We were 2.5 weeks postpartum with twins on mothersday, I wish I’d used all those moments of playing chess on my phone and scrolling to create more to honor Alyssa but here we are. I asked/told her I’d complete the project I wanted to make her for fathers day, and since we had so little capacity on mothersday, we’ll make this a joint parenthood celebration. She has been a clinical research associate and she went to her first industry conference back in December during second trimester. (She didn’t take any pics) and I watched her come back with a glow of joy being in her profession as the study she’s been working on is called paradigm and is changing the baseline protocol for how doctors will treat Acute Meyloid Luekemia. It’s a framed collage with her badge and lanyard and the presentation slides for the conference. And nodding the work she has put in and the impact the study will have.

’m working in worrying a chapter talking about some of the messaging we’ve received that’s led us astray. I feel like provider, aka reducing myself to a pay check has played a part but I know weve been pretty equal in our relationship financially. I think we’ve swapped back-and-forth being the top breadwinner five different times. How many of you recognize breadwinning and maybe excessive focus on bringing money in the home has been a contributor towards the situation. We are all in?