House sale advice. · Marriage Recovery Community

House sale advice.

I’ve just had an emotionally loaded conversation with my wife about putting the house up for sale. I dont want to but I think she is struggling financially so she is pushing. I have told her ideally we need to wait 2 years as the mortgage offer ends then and I’ll be in a more financially stable position to get my own place. I asked her to get some legal advice and see what she will be able to afford herself before we rushed anything as right now we have a nice home, the 3 kids are stable and happy - we (were) getting on fine. But she started throwing all the comments in that it’s me being controlling or that I’m hoping that if I wait a bit longer she will change her mind and come back to me. I said it’s not that it’s more that it’s a massive thing we are discussing and where the children end up living means a lot to me so I don’t want to rush into anything. I asked her what she would do - and then she said I was being patronising and making out she can’t survive on her own. Then it turned into her being nasty and wanting me to move out on my own and how she would speak to somebody to see what she is entitled to financially off me and then other nasty comments about my family. So we ended the conversation and I made excuse that I needed to nip out to the shops. But really I needed to go and have minute to think about what had been said. Turned out to be the best thing as when I came back she had changed her tune! - talking to me about her friends and even implied she was sorry (she didn’t say it directly) and she didn’t want to hurt me she just not liking living like this.

But my question is, how can I tell her I don’t want to sell the house in a way that it doesn’t sound like she is trapped or that I’m controlling? I’m hoping this is her just letting off steam and bit of a blip as before this, I was just working on trying to be a friend to her first before trying to rebuild our relationship. Not in pushy way but by being relaxed around each other and not causing tension. Now I’m thinking it’s not been working.

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House sale advice.