I pulled a couple of old notebooks out of my closet to use as journals for this class and found some writing in one of them that was from a silent retreat I was on more than a decade ago. I don't know the exact date but it appears to be from around 2012 as I write about my parents and obviously they were still alive at that time. Anyway, I thought I'd share one of the things I wrote. I have always wanted to, felt called to, pulled to, write my story. I've never taken the time to actually do it, but this is what I wrote on that retreat 14 years ago. The Story of Me I am the youngest of six children, 5 girls and 1 boy. Born to the most amazing parents, a living example of God's love and mercy. The church (Catholic) was our life. It was our education, our friends, our socializing, everything. At a very young age I felt the presence of God. His love, mercy, and compassion. Growing up with four older sisters certainly came with its challenges, but it was a gift as well. There was always someone to play with, talk to, fight with, cry with, and hug. We were best friends and mortal enemies, confidants and co-consipirators. We shared a room for most of our childhood, a bed, and always a bathroom. There was no escape! That's probably why I like living alone so much now. The two oldest, Ann and Barbara, went off to college while I was still pretty young so most of my time at home was without them. Ann got married when I was 8 and Barbara when I was 9. They both had their first born when I was 10, both boys. I loved being an aunt and they took advantage of that (in a good way). Saying "aunts change dirty diapers," etc. Being so young I was very close to my nephews and the rest of my neices and nephews that followed. Except most of my sister Cassie's kids, but that will come later. When I was 11, my world as I knew it changed forever. My favorite uncle, who was also a priest, was murdered. Two men robbed the rectory where he lived, killing him, his housekeeper, and a nun that was visiting. They were found stabbed downstairs and my uncle was found upstairs in his bedroom, shot in the back of his head.

I wanted to introduce myself honestly, because this is one of the few kinds of spaces where honesty actually belongs. I’ve lived with a lot of loss. I’m the only surviving member of my family of origin. My mother died when I was 27 and pregnant with my second child. My brother died at 49.My niece was murdered in 2011 at the age of 18. My husband lives with CLL — it’s quiet right now and likely will be for years, but the not-knowing is part of our daily weather. Because of this, I think about death, grief, and legacy a lot. Not in a morbid way — more as companions. They’ve shaped how I love, how I choose, and how I pay attention to what matters. I’m deeply grateful for a community where we can name the ugly, tender, unsayable parts out loud — without rushing to make meaning or turn pain into inspiration. I’m here to listen, to learn, and to be alongside others who know that grief doesn’t make us broken — it makes us human.

Peaceful Saturday to you all. I wanted to tell you how much I am looking forward to tomorrow night and the coming year, together, as we discover and share some pretty " big deal" stuff. In reviewing my course work from January 2025 I find that I am more committed to making the time for the class work this time around. It is of course, the more you put into something, the more you get back from it. Knowing what I did do in 2025, a fair amount but not nearly enough, compared to my intentions for 2026, I am amazed to reflect on just how much I did grow over the last year, how although more fearful of death in some respects, I am more prepared to embrace that day when it arrives. I am committing to Pam, to you all (it will keep me accountable) and myself, to keep a gratitude journal this time, I managed to side step that for the last 365 days. It is an honor to be at the table with each of you, here we go....pass the potatoes.

If you’ve just joined Kettle & Candle—or you’ve been quietly peeking around the edges—this is for you. This space exists for people who know, deep down, that life is short… and want to live it wide.We talk about mortality, grief, advance care planning, and legacy—not to be morbid, but to be honest. This is not a doom-and-gloom room. This is a candlelit table where we tell the truth, ask real questions, and make real plans. Put the kettle on. You’re in the right place. What we’re doing here Inside this community, you’ll see: - 365 – A Year To Live: A year-long journey into living fully by facing our mortality, one breath at a time. - Live virtual gatherings & fireside chats. Real-time conversations where we share stories, questions, fears, and aha moments. - Short, practical workshops, especially around advance care planning: medical/financial powers of attorney, end-of-life wishes, and how to actually talk to the people you love. - Prompts, reflections, and shared resources. Small sparks to help you re-center on the day's life feels heavy—or beautifully fragile. - Some of you are here for the paperwork. Some of you are here for the soul work. Most of us will discover we need both. How to jump in today (not “someday”) Lurking is normal. Staying stuck there is optional. If you’re reading this, choose one action—today: 1. Introduce yourself. In the comments below, tell us: 2. Answer a gentle question. Pick one and answer in the comments: 3. Raise your hand for support. If you’re overwhelmed by planning, grief, or “I don’t even know where to start,” just type: “I’m here, but I’m unsure.”That’s a perfectly honest place to begin. You don’t have to be polished. You don’t have to have your life in order. You just have to be willing to take one small, human step. What you can expect from me (and from us) From me, you can expect: - Clear teaching rooted in 45+ years of walking with people at the end of life - Gentle but direct questions that nudge you out of “I’ll deal with it later.” - Practical guidance on planning (with the reminder: I’m not your lawyer or doctor; I’ll always encourage you to talk with your own professionals)