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Welcome to Kettle & Candle School .....Live well. Plan well. Die well.
Put the kettle on. 😉 You made it here, and that already tells me something important: you’re willing to look at the parts of life most people avoid—death, grief, aging, endings—and you’d rather not do that alone. 👥This space is for people who feel the tug of questions like: - What do I want to do with the time I have left? - How do I carry my grief and still live? - How do I prepare—practically and emotionally—so I don’t leave a mess behind? Here, we talk honestly about living and dying, love and loss, plans and paperwork, spirit and practicality. We make room for both the kettle (conversation, comfort, everyday life) and the candle (mortality, memory, sacredness of our limited time). 👉How this community works: You’ll see different programs and posts here—like 365 — A Year To Live and Advanced Care Planning—but underneath it all is the same heartbeat: - Tell the truth about life and death. - Learn together, not alone. - Take small, brave steps toward living and dying in alignment with your values. -  You are welcome to come exactly as you are: curious, scared, hopeful, tired, grieving, unsure, or all of the above. 🙌Introduce yourself (in a way that actually matters) When you’re ready, say hello in the comments below. You can answer any of these prompts—just what feels right: 1. What season of life are you in right now, in a few words? (Examples: “Midlife and re-evaluating everything,” “Fresh in grief,” “Caregiver mode,” “Aging and taking stock.”) 2. What quietly brought you to Kettle & Candle? A loss, a diagnosis, a birthday, a near-miss, a deep curiosity, a professional calling? 3. When you think about death, grief, or aging, what feeling shows up first? (No need to be poetic. “Terrified,” “numb,” “relieved to finally talk about it” all count.) 4. What is one hope you have for yourself in this space over the next year? (Big or small: “Get my paperwork started,” “Not feel so alone,” “Make peace with a part of my story,” etc.) 5. Is there a small comfort or ritual that helps you feel grounded lately? (Tea, walking, gardening, journaling, music, prayer, sitting in the sunshine…)
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Kettle & Candle on Skool – Community Guidelines
This is a community for honest, tender conversations about life, death, grief, and legacy. To keep it safe and usable for everyone, we agree to the following: 👉1. Lead with kindness and respect - No harassment, bullying, shaming, or personal attacks. - No hate speech or discrimination of any kind (race, gender, sexuality, religion, politics, age, ability, etc.). - Disagree with ideas, not with people. 👉2. Confidentiality is sacred - What is shared here, stays here. - Do not share someone else’s story, screenshots, or posts outside the community without explicit permission. - Remove identifying details if you’re sharing an example in a teaching context. 👉3. This is not medical, legal, financial, or mental health advice - Nothing in this community replaces professional medical, legal, financial, or mental health care. - You may share your experience (“What helped me was…”), but do not tell others what they must do. - Do not diagnose, prescribe, or offer step-by-step instructions for treatment, medications, or legal actions. 👉4. Crisis and safety - This community is not a crisis service. - If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or thinking about harming themselves or others, contact local emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area right away. - You may say, “I’m having a hard time,” but please avoid graphic details of self-harm, suicide, or violence. 👉5. Speak from your own experience - Use “I” language. Share your own story, beliefs, and questions. - We honor many spiritual, religious, and philosophical perspectives here. - No preaching, converting, or insisting that your belief is the only “right” way. 👉6. Gentle with the details - We talk about death, dying, and grief—but we don’t need gore. - Avoid graphic medical descriptions, violent detail, or anything likely to be traumatizing. - When in doubt, keep it simple and respectful. 👉7. Boundaries, DMs, and emotional labor - Do not pressure other members for 1:1 support, therapy, or “fixing.” - Ask before moving a conversation into private messages. - If you are a professional (therapist, doula, attorney, etc.), do not solicit clients or give individualized professional advice here.
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“How to Use Category Space
🚀Welcome & Announcements: This is our bulletin board for key updates, dates, and links. Only hosts post here; you’re welcome to comment or ask questions. 🚀Pull Up a Chair: Introduce yourself and share what brought you here. Tell us as much or as little of your story as feels right in this season. 🚀365 Journey Reflections For members in the 365 “Year to Live” journey. Post check-ins, journal sparks, questions, and “aha” moments from the work. 🚀ACP Questions & Wins Anything about advance care planning lives here—forms, wording, decisions, and next steps. Ask for help and celebrate every small win. 🚀Fireside Chat & Support An open circle for real talk about life, death, grief, caregiving, and love. Bring your questions, stories, and gentle support for others. 🚀Help Desk: Tech & Housekeeping Stuck on SKOOL or can’t find a link or replay? Ask here. Tech glitches, access issues, and “where do I click?” questions belong in this space.
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Very enlightened by Soul Injury
So after only reading two chapters of the Soul Injury boo I feel that I have a much better understanding of what I’ve been feeling and experiencing for the past 20+ years of my life. As I was reading, the book really resonated with me. I have PTSD for multiple reasons, one of which is finding my son‘s body after he completed suicide in 2022. I’ve gone through intensive PTSD treatment through the VA, which was very effective. I’ve suffered various traumas in my life and yet the feeling that I had was something deeper that I couldn’t explain. In the first chapter of the book, I had an “aha moment”, and realized that I was hurting at the level of my soul. When they defined the three broad categories that cause soul injury, a lightbulb lit up in my brain when I read “fear of helplessness and loss of control.“ I spent 24 years in the military, 20 of which were either as a noncommission officer or an officer where I was in charge of people, equipment and responsible for making sound fiscal choices. After retiring from the military I worked 15 years in the VA as a surgical specialty ENT PA working primary with cancer patients. I had been a PA for a total of 29 years when I retired. So looking back on 39 your career in federal service, 34 of those years were in positions where I could not be helpless and I had to be in control. At the time I didn’t realize the toll that was taking on my soul. I’m really looking forward to delving deeper into this, learning more, and healing the deep injury that has impacted my life and my relationships for decades.
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Kettle And Candle
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Kettle and Candle is where we pour tea, name our grief, and light the way to living, loving, and leaving with intention—together.
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