Jim, your friends on K&C wish you a smooth recovery!

Life has honestly kicking my butt for the last couple of years and I’m working on being okay. In July my hubby got sick and we spent most of July in the hospital. There was a moment in his hallucinations that he was speaking to the lady in the corner of room. His vitals dropped after he told me about the woman in the corner. The room was swarmed by doctors and nurses and he was stabilized. It was the first time I ever thought of what my life would be without him. Later, while still in the hospital he told me he had a dream that his Grandma Skarda came to him in his dreams. He told me Grandma told him that it wasn’t his time yet. He’s home now and doing a bit better thank God. He started walking without a walker a few weeks ago. During his at home recovery I received a phone call his step sister that his mom was sick and we might want to head that way. The family is very estranged and the steps are causing all sorts of problems. Tom’s mom was the queen bee of narcissists and threw people away like you’d throw away leftovers after a few weeks. She died when Tom and my 6 year old grandson were with her. I thank God for that. When I got to the room Tom was just sitting in a chair repeatedly saying “I never really knew my mom.” It broke my heart to her him say that. Her birthday was a few days ago and Tom’s was yesterday. I feel guilty bc I was excited that I didn’t have to dread the phone ringing anymore. That I am actually relieved that she has passed. I’m learning more and more that you can really love someone from a distance. That realization has been gut wrenching for me bc my family is so close. Am I a bad person for not really mourning Tom’s mom?

Feel grateful to be RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!