JJFA family, as many of you know, I consider myself a motivational speaker of sorts. Maybe even could call it a hype, man.. I personally thrive off of the success of my friends. But there was a time in my life where I had all the wrong friends, and I wanted to share with you guys a speech that I am working on for a TED talk that I would like to do. This is a true story about how I faced my lonely era when I was leveling up my friend group. Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy.
-Zac Sway
The Lonely Stage
Let me tell you something nobody warns you about when you decide to change your life.
They warn you about hard work.
They warn you about discipline.
They warn you about failure.
But nobody warns you about loneliness.
When I first stepped into leadership, business, self-improvement—whatever you want to call it—I thought the grind would be the hardest part. I thought the early mornings would break me. I thought the sacrifices would test me.
Nah.
The hardest part was realizing that the people I used to call my friends…
didn’t want me to win.
They laughed at me.
They told me I was crazy.
They said it wouldn’t work.
They said I’d be back at the sheriff’s office in a year.
They said, “This is just who you are. Accept it.”
And here’s the part that hurts the most:
Some of them didn’t say it to my face.
They said it behind my back.
That’s when something hit me like a brick.
I heard this quote once:
“Your life is a movie. You cast the roles. You can change characters. You can add sequels. You can rewrite the script.”
And I realized something brutal.
Some people are not meant to be in the whole movie.
Some people are just extras.
Some people are just background noise.
Some people are only meant for the opening scene.
What matters is the plot.
The journey.
The mission.
🎬 And here’s the truth nobody likes to say out loud:
When you leave your old circle,
when you step away from the jokes, the comfort, the mediocrity,
when you stop shrinking to fit rooms you’ve outgrown—
It gets lonely.
Real lonely.
Now listen—
I had a wife.
I had kids.
They supported me. They believed in me.
But as a man on a mission, sometimes that’s not enough.
Sometimes you need a Robin.
A sidekick.
A counterpart.
An equal.
A brother who looks at you and says,
“Let’s go. I’m not letting you quit.”
And when you don’t have that—
when the people around you are pulling instead of pushing—
they don’t just slow you down…
They start pulling you toward bad decisions,
bad habits,
bad versions of yourself.
So I asked myself the most important question of my life:
Where do you find quality friends?
And I’ll be honest with you.
I didn’t know.
Because I never really had any.
But I did know this:
I loved podcasts.
I loved listening to men who thought bigger than me.
Men who spoke with clarity.
Men who lived with standards.
So I made a decision that changed everything.
I replaced my circle.
Not with people at first—
but with voices.
I chose five men whose words hit me in the chest.
Five men who lived at a level I respected.
Five men who wouldn’t tolerate excuses.
And I listened to them every day.
On the drive.
In the gym.
In the quiet moments nobody sees.
I talked about them like they were my friends.
I told their stories in first person.
I took their advice seriously.
I spoke about them like I was sitting at the table with them.
They became my friends.
And before you twist this—
no, I wasn’t actually friends with them.
But they did something more powerful.
They set the standard.
They showed me what a man should sound like.
How a man should think.
How a man should move.
And something crazy started happening.
As I went through life, I started meeting people.
And most didn’t make the cut.
But every now and then…
someone would talk differently.
Move differently.
Show up differently.
They had discipline.
They had direction.
They had standards.
And when they proved themselves over time—
they replaced one of the voices in my headphones
and became a real friend.
That’s how you build a circle.
Not by history.
Not by convenience.
Not by trauma bonding.
By standards.
🔥 Here are mine:
I don’t have friends who sleep in.
I don’t have friends who don’t train their bodies.
I don’t have friends who don’t think deeply.
I don’t have friends without goals.
I don’t have friends without problems they’re actively solving.
I don’t have friends who aren’t on a mission.
But I used to.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth:
I used to be exactly like the people I didn’t want to become.
That’s why the quote is real:
“Show me your five closest friends, and I’ll show you your future.”
People don’t say that because it sounds good.
They say it because they’ve lived it.
So if you’re lonely right now—
good.
It means you left the wrong room.
If you feel isolated—
good.
It means you stopped settling.
If people are questioning you—
mocking you—
doubting you—
Congratulations.
You just stepped into the chapter where growth happens.
The lonely chapter is not the final scene.
It’s the training montage. 🎬💪
Choose your circle.
Choose your standards.
Choose your ending.
Because this is your movie.
And you’re not here to play a background role. 🚀🔥