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Attachment, Power & Our Hidden Patterns
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته I want to open a gentle, honest discussion — not to label anyone, but to understand ourselves better. From my own journey, I’ve realised something important: Sometimes, the same person can show people-pleasing in one relationship and narcissistic tendencies in another. __________________________________________________ For example: - With someone who feels controlling or emotionally unavailable, we may shrink, over-explain, and people-please. - With someone who feels clingy or emotionally dependent, we may inflate, withdraw warmth, or feel subtly superior. Both responses often come from the same place: 👉 a need to feel safe, not a desire to harm. __________________________________________________ This helped me see that: - Narcissism is often a pattern, not a permanent identity. - Attachment wounds can change how we show up, depending on power dynamics. - Healing isn’t about blame — it’s about awareness and responsibility. __________________________________________________ 🔎Reflection🔍 • Have you ever noticed yourself changing roles across different relationships? • Where do you think people-pleasing or emotional withdrawal shows up for you? • What helped you move toward dignity and balance? There are no right or wrong answers here. Every journey is unique. This is a space for reflection, not judgment. __________________________________________________ If this reflection resonated with you, feel free to share your thoughts — your insight might help someone else recognize their own pattern with compassion. Bi idn Illah.
Attachment, Power & Our Hidden Patterns
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Course Uploaded - Understanding Discipline.
Many of you came here asking one question in different forms: “Why do I know what is right… but fail to stay consistent?” I’ve opened a classroom called “Understanding Discipline” It is about training the nafs with clarity and mercy. Module 1 and 2 is ready. You can enter slowly. No pressure to finish. This is for those who want to become steady, not impressive. Posting the link here. https://www.skool.com/how-to-self-coach-your-nafs-4445/classroom/1cb9b427
Course Uploaded  - Understanding Discipline.
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How skool works differently from social media?
Many of you joined this space only because you trust The School of Nafs Coaching. So let me gently clarify what this platform is — and what it is not. First, the distinction 👇 Social Media - Built for scrolling, reacting, and being seen - Rewards likes, shares, speed, and visibility - Encourages comparison and constant stimulation - Content is consumed quickly… and forgotten quickly Skool 🏫 - Built for learning, discipline, and inner work - No likes. No reels. No performance - Encourages slowness, reflection, and consistency - Content is structured so it can be applied, not just watched This is not a place to impress others. This is a place to work quietly on your nafs. How Skool Works 🏫 Skool has three main spaces, each with a clear purpose: 1️⃣ Community This is like a study circle. - Short reflections - Gentle reminders - Questions and shared insights - No pressure to comment or perform You participate only when it benefits your heart. 2️⃣ Classroom This is where real learning happens. - Lessons are structured into modules - You can move at your own pace - Revisit lessons anytime - No algorithm decides what you should see Think of it as a quiet shelf of knowledge, not a noisy feed. 3️⃣ Calendar This brings discipline and rhythm. - Live sessions (when scheduled) - Reflections or reminders tied to time - Helps you build consistency instead of randomness Growth loves structure. An Important Note 🤍 This space may feel slow if you are used to social media. And that is intentional. Because: - Healing is slow - Discipline is slow - Tazkiyah is slow But it is deep and lasting. I didn’t invite you here to follow me. I invited you here to meet yourself honestly — with Allah’s help. If this space feels aligned, stay. If it feels uncomfortable, sit with that feeling — it often teaches us something. May Allah place barakah in sincere effort, not visible effort. — The School of Nafs Coaching
How skool works differently from social media?
When Parents Are Emotionally Dependent on Us
Amina loved her mother deeply. Every day, her phone lit up with messages. Some were simple — “Did you eat?” Some were heavy — “I feel so lonely today.” Some carried quiet expectation — “You’re the only one who understands me.” Amina listened. Always. She reassured. Explained. Comforted. Adjusted her schedule. And slowly, without realizing it, she began to feel tired in a way sleep didn’t fix. After every call, her chest felt tight. She felt guilty for wanting space… and guilty again for feeling resentful. One evening, after a particularly long conversation, Amina sat quietly with herself and asked: “Why do I feel like I disappear every time I try to be a good daughter?” She wasn’t angry at her mother. She wasn’t ungrateful. She just felt… drained. That night, a realization settled softly in her heart: My mother loves me. But somewhere along the way, I became her emotional anchor instead of Allah. This thought scared her at first. Then it freed her. The next day, Amina didn’t withdraw. She didn’t become cold. She didn’t start setting harsh boundaries. She simply changed how she showed up. When her mother called in distress, Amina listened — but she didn’t rush to solve. She validated the feeling, then gently said: “Let’s make duʿā together.” When complaints repeated, Amina stayed calm — not absorbed. She reminded herself: Compassion does not mean carrying what is not mine. She reduced urgency, not love. Presence, not respect. Slowly, something shifted. Her mother began pausing before calling. She started finding comfort in prayer, in routine, in other relationships. Not because Amina abandoned her — but because Amina returned her reliance back to Allah. And Amina? She felt lighter. She was still a dutiful daughter. But now, she was also whole. She learned that: - Honouring parents does not mean emotional self-erasure - Balance is not distance — it is regulated closeness - And sometimes, the most loving thing you can dois refuse to replace Allah in someone’s heart
When Parents Are Emotionally Dependent on Us
Reminder for muslims
Asalamualaikum be a Muslim it's no wonder why we don't celebrate New year it's not our new years but our new year start with mohoram but unfortunately some muslims celebrate it don't know why this last year remind us alot of grief pain or destruction what happened in Gaza we know what they lost loves one shaheed or instead of it we celebrate New year may Allah guide us all muslims ameen remember phalistein Sudan in yours prayers ameen 🇵🇸
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How To Self Coach Your Nafs ?
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We cannot achieve a sound heart unless we coach our nafs to align with our Ruh. Ready to self coach your nafs? Then please join this community.
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