Attachment, Power & Our Hidden Patterns
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
I want to open a gentle, honest discussion — not to label anyone, but to understand ourselves better.
From my own journey, I’ve realised something important:
Sometimes, the same person can show people-pleasing in one relationship and narcissistic tendencies in another.
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For example:
  • With someone who feels controlling or emotionally unavailable, we may shrink, over-explain, and people-please.
  • With someone who feels clingy or emotionally dependent, we may inflate, withdraw warmth, or feel subtly superior.
Both responses often come from the same place:
👉 a need to feel safe, not a desire to harm.
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This helped me see that:
  • Narcissism is often a pattern, not a permanent identity.
  • Attachment wounds can change how we show up, depending on power dynamics.
  • Healing isn’t about blame — it’s about awareness and responsibility. __________________________________________________
🔎Reflection🔍
• Have you ever noticed yourself changing roles across different relationships?
• Where do you think people-pleasing or emotional withdrawal shows up for you?
• What helped you move toward dignity and balance?
There are no right or wrong answers here.
Every journey is unique.
This is a space for reflection, not judgment.
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If this reflection resonated with you, feel free to share your thoughts — your insight might help someone else recognize their own pattern with compassion. Bi idn Illah.
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Umm Salman
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Attachment, Power & Our Hidden Patterns
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