Idk what to do, so I'm making this post..
Hi guyss So, basically yesterday before my 1st period, around 8:30-ish, this girl, Tatum, called me a "ugly f@t@$$ gay wh0r3". And, it's not the first time. She always calls me slurs, swear words and sometimes includes something about my appearance / weight. (For example, she has also called me an "ugly f@gg0t" a "fat b!tch" and more, but I'm not going to say anymore.) After she said that, I did something I REALLY regret. I hit her, PUNCHED her, on her back about right in-between her shoulder blades. Hard. I felt numb, like I couldn't control my body, I wasn't even aware it happened until she turned to look at me. Her eyes filled with disbelief and pain. I have NEVER felt more guilty than I did after that moment. Normally, when she looked at me it would be with hate and disgust. But now? Pure pain. No hate in sight. When I saw those eyes, all I could think about was how whenever she looked at me, that's the look I'd give her. And it hurt for her to be the one to look at me with pain and sadness, and for me to be the one with the look of hatred. Now I can't help but wonder.. how did SHE feel whenever I gave her those eyes?... Anywho, I reported myself to the principal & councilor right after. Told them everything from start to finish, leaving out no details. Me, Tatum, my councilor, and the principal watched the camera footage of it happening. It felt like a slap in the face. For once, I was the bad guy. I got a different locker, a referral, to write her an apology letter (my choice, but they gave it to her), a call & email home, and I had to write a report. About myself. I deserved it. All of it. (But her? Nothing. She never got in trouble for calling me anything, ever. I have reported it every time she has said something, and they don't do anything) I would never in a million years hit anyone, especially her, no matter what someone called or said to me. That's about it, I would appreciate your guys view on this.. I will accept criticism, support, or anything else.