Resilience & coping with emotions

So tonight at training the session was rounded out with a friendly penalty shoot out.

Lewis did well. Didn't save any but neither did his opposition GK. When it came time to take his shot he ended up hitting the post and his team lost. All his team mates and those on the "opposition" were really quick to comfort him and check he was ok after they saw he was upset. But still he really struggled.

He really let this get to him and was quite upset. We had a really honest conversation in the car about it. I even asked him if he still enjoyed football, explaining that if he doesn't want to do it anymore that is absolutely ok. He is adamant that he loves football and doesn't want to stop.

He explained to me that he expects himself to be the best and really struggles when he isn't. I asked he if thinks I expect that, or if he thinks his coaches do and he said no, it's only himself.

I'm at a loss on how to help him manage this. I think it's great that he cares so much and wants to be the best he can be but I also struggle seeing him get so upset when things don't go his way, plus as a grown up I know you can't always be the best. I've done all the usual of explaining that everyone makes mistakes, we can't always perform at 100%, show him videos of premier league GKs who make mistakes etc. But I can't seem to help him get over this internal pressure.

Does anyone have any tips or ideas on how to approach this with him? He has only just turned 10 so of course his emotional maturity is in its infancy and I want to allow him space to be upset but also want to help him recognise what is worth being upset over and what isn't. It's very easy to say "Just have fun" but the answer I get is "It isn't fun when I don't do as well as I think I should".

Sorry for rambling post but any help would be super appreciated.

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