In my book, I said the magic bullet for weightloss is the power of your intention, your why. I’ve backed off that. It has merit, but it feels incomplete. The why is worthy, and it can sustain us for some time, at least until we start negotiating with ourselves. The kids are grown, so I won’t have to get down on the floor with them, and grandchildren are a good ways off yet. Yes, I did say yes to the thing I don’t want to do AGAIN, and I NEED cake. I'm the one staring down the chocolate chips because I'm upset. Is that you? Some say we live “purpose-driven” lives, but I think we live “identity-driven” lives. Identity holds. It looks like: “I am a woman who _________.” That’s a little harder to bend or fake. “I’m a woman who makes good choices and keeps her word to herself.” That’s mine, and it took me years to say without flinching. Okay, sometimes I still flinch. But the question stays. My question for the group is: Is it your “why” – or your “identity”?