Master the Art of Networking: A Strategic Guide to Building Meaningful Business Relationships
Based on a conversation with Joe Apfelbaum, CEO of EvyAI and Ajax Union, networking expert and author of "High Energy Networking"
Networking isn't just about collecting business cards—it's about strategic relationship building that can transform your career, business, and personal life. Joe Apfelbaum, who built multiple successful companies through the power of networking, shares his proven strategies for turning conversations into opportunities.
The Foundation: Why Networking Matters (0:00 - 1:42)
"Everything good that happens in your life will happen as a result of a relationship." This fundamental principle drives all successful networking efforts. Your network directly correlates to your net worth because you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Key Statistics:
- 80% of people live paycheck to paycheck because they surround themselves with others in similar financial situations
- 22 million millionaires in the United States—most are active on LinkedIn
- Cold calling can get you $599/month clients, but networking can land $45,000/month clients
Personal Development: The #1 Networking Skill (4:30 - 8:29)
Before mastering external networking, you must develop internal confidence. Personal development should top your skill priority list because networking is essentially public speaking to strangers.
The Grocery Store Test: Could you get 10 phone numbers from strangers in an upscale grocery store? If this terrifies you, focus on personal development first. The skill we learned as children—"don't talk to strangers"—must be unlearned for business success.
Action Items:
- Practice approaching strangers in low-stakes environments
- Reframe rejection as redirection, not personal failure
- Remember: you're not responsible for other people's emotional states
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs: Joe's Journey (8:29 - 19:57)
Joe's transformation from a shy, insecure person to a master networker involved extensive personal work:
Childhood Trauma to Strength:
- Third-grade reading incident created "I'm an idiot" belief (10:08)
- Developed class clown persona as coping mechanism
- Carried shame for 35 years before addressing it
Healing Modalities Used:
- Landmark Education seminars
- Entrepreneurs Organization (EO) forums
- One-on-one coaching with top coaches
- Tony Robbins events
- 300+ personal development books
- Journaling practice
- Plant medicine (after foundational work)
Key Insight: Personal development work must come before business networking success.
The Mindset Foundation (19:57 - 30:42)
Programming Your Reality (20:00): Everything we experience is programming. You can choose to tell yourself "life is amazing" or "life is terrible"—both are lies, so pick the empowering one.
The Entrepreneurial Mindset (24:17):
- Winners automatically enter problem-solving mode during setbacks
- Losers stay stuck in the problem and feel like failures
- Life consists of problem after problem—the skill is maintaining inner peace through all conditions
Core Principles:
- There's no losing in life, only winning or learning
- If you're stressed, you haven't learned the lesson yet
- Perfection is a mental construct—nature thrives in organized chaos
LinkedIn: Your Networking Goldmine (49:21 - 1:02:34)
Why LinkedIn Dominates Other Platforms:
Instagram Profile Typical Info:
- Screen name (often not real name)
- Private account
- No contact information
- Limited professional context
LinkedIn Profile Complete Info:
- First and last name
- Current company and position
- Work history
- Education background
- Skills and recommendations
- Mutual connections
- Contact information
- Professional mindset focus
LinkedIn Advantages:
- 1.2 billion users globally
- 38% are paying subscribers (higher commitment level)
- Professional mindset versus social entertainment
- Built-in research tools for relationship building
- Caller ID feature (you know who views your profile)
LinkedIn Strategy Action Items:
- Cross-pollinate your audience: Direct Instagram followers to connect on LinkedIn
- Buy a domain: Purchase yourname.com and forward it to your LinkedIn profile
- Post consistently: Share valuable professional content
- Engage meaningfully: Comment thoughtfully on others' posts
- Use AI tools: Leverage platforms like EvyAI for content creation and research
The Four-Step Stranger Approach Method (1:02:34 - 1:11:39)
Step 1: The Interruption
- Check your energy first—don't force interactions when you're off
- Get their attention: "Excuse me," wave, shoulder tap, or any attention-getter
- Most people fail here by jumping straight to their question
Step 2: The Buffer
- Give their brain time to catch up after the interruption
- Examples: "I had to come over here," "I had to stop you," "How could I not tell you this"
- This prepares them to actually listen to what you're about to say
Step 3: The Icebreaker
- Ask your question or make your observation
- Examples: "What kind of cheese is that?" "Do you know what you're ordering?" "What do you typically get here?"
- Choose something relevant to the environment or situation
Step 4: The Follow-Through
- Compliment or comment on their response
- Don't ignore what they said
- If energy is right, extend your hand: "By the way, my name's Joe"
- They'll automatically reciprocate with their name
Important Mindset Shifts:
- Rejection is redirection—they're saving you time
- Only 20% of interactions will be positive (Pareto Principle)
- Low-energy responses aren't about you—don't take responsibility for others' moods
Advanced Networking Strategies
Building High-Value Relationships:
- Join CEO organizations (Vistage, Entrepreneurs Organization, Inc. 500)
- Attend expensive events where high-net-worth individuals gather
- Give value first—provide something that "melts their heart"
- Make strategic introductions for others
The Breakfast Strategy: Joe's $45,000/month client came from:
- Having breakfast with EO president
- Giving valuable gift (hospital decision-maker list)
- Asking for specific introduction
- Getting introduced to $400M company
- No vetting needed due to trusted referral source
Phone Call Advantage:
- Competitive advantage since most people avoid calling
- Higher conversion rates than DMs or text
- Shows you genuinely care
- Five-minute calls can close deals immediately
Practical Action Plan
Week 1: Foundation Building
- Practice the four-step approach in low-stakes environments
- Optimize your LinkedIn profile with professional photo and detailed information
- Set goal to approach 3 strangers daily
Week 2: LinkedIn Activation
- Post valuable content daily
- Engage on 10 posts per day with thoughtful comments
- Send 5 personalized connection requests daily
- Research and message 3 potential high-value connections
Week 3: Advanced Strategies
- Join one professional organization or networking group
- Attend one in-person networking event
- Practice phone calling instead of just messaging
- Give value to 3 people without expecting anything in return
Week 4: Optimization
- Track which approaches yield best results
- Refine your introduction and icebreakers
- Book coffee meetings with new connections
- Plan attendance at higher-level networking events
Key Takeaways
- Networking is the fastest path to upgrading your net worth because it puts you in proximity to people operating at higher levels
- Personal development must come first—you can't network effectively if you're afraid of rejection or lack confidence
- LinkedIn is underutilized gold—most young people aren't there yet, giving you competitive advantage with millionaires and decision-makers
- The four-step stranger approach works when you interrupt properly, buffer their attention, deliver your icebreaker, and follow through appropriately
- Give value first—the most powerful networking happens when you help others achieve their goals before asking for anything
- Take action despite having reasons not to—you either have reasons or results, but you can't have both
- Quality over quantity—20% of your networking efforts will yield 80% of your results, so focus on building deep relationships with the right people
Remember: networking isn't about using people—it's about creating genuine value for others while strategically positioning yourself for opportunities. Master the fundamentals, maintain authentic energy, and watch your professional network transform into your greatest business asset.