Sex Talk · EpicYourLife

Eric Schlabach

Mar 19 • General discussion & FUN

Sex Talk

=== shared from someone I follow on Fb. I resonate a lot with this. What are your thoughts? ===

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𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝟏𝟏 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐀𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐱, 𝐒𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐄𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲

About 15 years ago, I became single after a two-decade marriage. I stepped out into the dating world with one goal...

to learn myself.

Not just in a surface-level, “What do I like in a partner?” kind of way, but in the deepest, rawest sense.

I wanted to learn about my sensuality.

My sexuality.

My orgasm.

What turned me on.

What turned me off.

What it even meant to feel fully expressed as a woman, as a sexual being.

And so, I explored. I moved through relationships, through moments, through desire. In the years that followed, I engaged in integrity-based open relating, meaning that every connection I formed was rooted in honesty, consent, and mutual respect. I had eleven lovers during that time. I was having tons of sex, more than I had ever had in my life—and I was learning exactly what I had set out to learn.

But here’s what I didn’t expect; the most profound lessons weren’t just about my body, my pleasure, or even my attraction to others. The real awakening was about energy.

About power.

About creation.

I started to see sex differently, not just as an act between two people but as an exchange of energy, a reflection of self, and a spiritual force that goes far beyond the bedroom. Some relationships revealed their energetic dynamics instantly, while others took months, even years, for me to understand why they had entered my life.

Sex, as I had been taught to understand it, was too small a concept. It had been boxed into pleasure, performance, and physicality. But true sex positivity isn’t just about having more sex, it’s about understanding the energy behind it. It’s about recognizing how sex influences, creates, and transforms.

In today’s world, the phrase “sex-positive” has been hijacked to mean “do whatever you want, as much as you want, with whoever you want.” It’s often portrayed as a movement that encourages sexual freedom through sheer volume. more partners, fewer inhibitions, complete detachment from deeper meaning.

But that’s not real freedom.

That’s just another trap.

Real sex positivity isn’t about how many people you sleep with or how wild your experiences are. It’s about your relationship to sex itself. the energy of it, the power of it, the consequences of it.

It’s about knowing why you’re drawn to someone.

Why certain dynamics repeat.

Why some sexual experiences leave you feeling empowered and others leave you drained.

This isn’t about morality or judgment.

It’s about awareness.

Because when you strip away the societal programming, the expectations, the performative “sexual liberation” narrative, you’re left with one question...

What am I actually creating with my sexual energy?

Just the other day, I was working with a female client who had been struggling with intimacy. As part of her work, I had her listen to a podcast on energetic connection and sexuality.

When we discussed it, she paused and said, “So yeah, I guess I need to learn how to have a spiritual connection with someone before having sex? Or figure out what the spiritual connection is?”

She said it hesitantly, like the words were forming in her mouth before she even understood what they meant.

She’s not alone. Most people have never even considered the spiritual aspect of sex.

So, what does that actually mean? How do you “figure out” the spiritual connection between you and someone else before sex?

It starts with this...

Everything is energy.

Every interaction, every attraction, every touch carries a frequency. Sometimes, the pull is purely chemical, a biological response urging you to merge. Other times, it’s something deeper, an energetic familiarity, a past-life thread, an unresolved lesson. Not all attraction is meant to be acted upon. Not all desire is aligned.

When we jump into sex without understanding the energetic or spiritual exchange, we risk absorbing what we don’t even realize we’re taking on. That means sleeping with someone whose energy is heavy, chaotic, or disconnected can leave you carrying their emotional weight, sometimes for days, weeks, or even years.

On the flip side, when two people come together with clarity, presence, and energetic awareness, the sexual experience becomes something else entirely. It moves from an act of pleasure to an act of creation, not just the creation of life, but the creation of energy, healing, transformation. Sex becomes a tool for growth, for awakening, for power.

Sexual energy is life force energy.

It’s the same energy that fuels creativity, passion, and purpose. When it’s misused or wasted on meaningless encounters, it drains. When it’s honored and cultivated, it elevates.

This is why in many ancient traditions, sexual energy was revered, protected, and even transmuted into creative power. Taoist practices, Tantric teachings, and indigenous wisdom have long understood that sex is not just about pleasure, it’s about channeling energy.

But in today’s culture, we’ve lost that understanding. We’ve been taught to disconnect from the sacredness of sex in the name of “freedom.”

And yet, so many people feel empty.

Used.

Confused.

Because freedom without awareness is just another form of bondage.

Sex-positive doesn’t mean saying yes to everything. It means knowing what your yes actually means. It means moving with intention, with awareness, with a deep respect for your own energy and what you choose to share.

So, what happens when we see sex differently?

When we stop treating sex as just sex, everything shifts.

-->Attraction stops being random. We start to recognize why we are drawn to certain people and what our energy is actually calling in.

-->Boundaries become natural. There’s no need for rigid rules or forced abstinence, just a deep knowing of what aligns and what doesn’t.

-->Sex becomes a tool for empowerment. Instead of draining us, it nourishes. Instead of creating wounds, it heals.

-->We become conscious creators. Whether it’s in the bedroom, in our art, in our relationships, we start using sexual energy as it was meant to be used: to bring more life, passion, and depth into the world.

Real sex positivity isn’t about how much sex you’re having.

It’s about how intentional, aware, and connected you are with your own sexual energy.

So, the question isn’t “Am I having enough sex?”

It’s “Am I awake to the energy I’m engaging with?”

I’d love to hear your thoughts, do you see sex as something purely physical, or do you believe it carries spiritual and energetic power? Drop your perspective in the comments and share why you feel that way. Let’s open up the conversation.

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