I remember the kids in school were rough on me. Often times they ended up getting me distracted from my goals. They kicked in my sand castle, talked me out of my lunch money, called me names, stole my joy, hurt my self esteem. At home my voice did not seem to matter as I watched my parents fight or be told because I said so. I still struggle with the need to over explain, apologize, or even feel the need to change course to please others. Too many outside voices begin to feel like what happened in childhood. I desire to find my identity and step out even when the criticism comes from voices that have been proved right in the past. I struggle with the opinions of others and want to overcome this.

Good afternoon. Some of you may already know me but for those who do not. My name is Aaron Summers. I joined the single 2 married community on October 27th, 2024. Exactly 11 months later I was married to an amazing woman Elizabeth Yoder(now Summers). We have been married for just over a week. I joined this group now to continue to build upon my identity, purpose, and mission. I desire for God best for our lives. Some of these are individual goals but also a couple as well.

It is common to miss this even after the wedding. When a wife begins to pull back, the instinct is to fix it with more words, more patience, more kindness, or more promises. Here is the truth of the matter. Emotional safety is not built with apologies and good deeds after pulling back. It is built with consistency and faithfulness alongside a committed plan. Show up day after day. Be emotionally present, reliable, and steady. When a husband cycles from being loving and attentive, to withdrawing in fear or insecurity, then returning with apologies, it creates instability. She will not feel safe. It feels like standing on shifting ground. 👉 For husbands: choose consistency over comfort. That looks like: • Showing up emotionally even when you feel insecure.• Keeping your commitments, big or small. • Regulating before relating. Breathe, pray, then engage. • Repairing quickly. “I see what I did. Here is how it impacted you. I own it. Here is how I will make it right.” • Leading with presence, not speeches. 👉 For wives: hold space with truth and grace. That looks like: • Acknowledging the good you see, while naming inconsistency clearly. • Refusing to carry his emotional weight for him. • Asking for repair and watching for progress, not just apologies. • Appreciating steady steps. Reinforce what you want to see repeated. 🏔️ Emotional safety is like a lighthouse. It does not chase the ship. It does not disappear in the storm. It shines steadily, showing the way home. That steadiness is what allows trust to grow, intimacy to deepen, and covenant to flourish. How to practice this in EpicYourLife • Daily Connection Window, 20 minutes: phones down. Eye contact. One win. One worry. One prayer. • Couples Epic30, 3 times a week: share a gratitude, a worthy, a short letter to Abba, and a takeaway. • T2T together when triggered: name the trigger, release the lie, replace it with truth, bless each other. • Weekly Shalom Check in, 45 minutes: review calendar, budget, FELDSPAR priorities, and one way to serve each other this week.

After 11 years with kids in the “System” and 5 years walking with the Amish, one truth has become undeniable: The deepest trauma rarely comes from the behavior itself… it comes from the response to the behavior. A parent’s response. A sibling’s response. A teacher’s, a pastor’s, a community’s response. That moment of reaction doesn’t just correct behavior — it cements belief. • When the response is shaming, harsh, or rejecting → the belief becomes, “I’m bad. I’ll never be enough.” • When the response is steady, compassionate, and curious → the belief becomes, “I can grow. I’m still worthy. I’m loved.” Psychologically, it’s the response that shapes the story we carry into adulthood — the story about who we are, what we’re worth, and whether we belong. Our responses matter more than we think. Because they don’t just end a moment… they echo for a lifetime. *Is there a response you’ve experienced that caused a harmful belief about yourself? Please share🫶🏽 #ThePowerOfResponse #EpicYourLife #HealingGenerations #flipthescript #createanewstory #mindset #personalgrowth #amish #amishmatcmakers #fostercare #fosterkids #trauma #response

Sometimes working with the Anabaptist culture feels like starring in my very own “Jerry Maguire” movie moment…IYKYK “Help me… help you!” Because the truth is — growth is slow. Trust requires relationship and even then is squirrelly…. Especially if we’re not “in person”. Assumptions and Offense are normal and Fear is extremely crippling. Often it feels like pulling teeth.. which, if it can be avoided.. it will be. So the Freedom takes huge amounts of time and energy. Walking through layer after layer of unlearning and breakthrough is exhausting. What makes it really wild is how often the growth doesn’t get recognized. Huge shifts happen, but it feels “normal” to them now. They forget how shut down or stuck they were. Meanwhile, we’re on the sidelines like: 👉🏽 “Did you just hear yourself? That’s freedom talking!” 👉🏽 “You made that decision without worrying what others think of you — that’s HUGE.” 👉🏽”You’ve increased your income, gotten married, and are growing your family! *Big Wins!” 👉🏽 “You felt the fear, and did it anyway, well done!” And the list goes on.. Theres nothing glamorous about it… and often its navigating a mess. But when the lightbulb finally turns on and they see it for themselves — that’s the GOLD🌟 Exhaustion turns into joy. And suddenly, the marathon was worth every step. #HelpMeHelpYou #EpicYourLife #amishmatchmakers #trauma #freedom #control #healing #mindset #awareness #growth