This creature has materialized in the northern corner of the St Festoon's Cafeteria. The length of the stilts is unknown, but the creature's head almost touches the stained glass ceiling. So think on that. The badger has indicated, via a go-between (a stoat with the shits on shorter stilts) that it is willing to answer questions from residents. If anyone would like to ask a question, fire away. Please note: St Festoon's Cafeteria is currently offering a two groats discount on its notoriously delicious Plum Duff Cupcake Cheeseblocks, presumably to stop the badger's presence deterring snackers from spending their ackers.

Good evening. Two-and-a-half residents have reported that a lamp post on Calmarthensteninshirestoft Street has started saying, "Oodly-oodly-ooo", while flashing at passers-by. Please document your experiences with the lamp post and record any other utterances it makes, as well as associated behaviour.

A fire-spitting stone lemur has materialised in the parallel courtyard, surrounded by a swirling vortex of tiny lemurs. This creature refuses to leave until it has heard "little stories" from residents, each of which must concern an embarrassing incident that befell them at some stage or other of their life.

This creature has materialised in the Castle's seventh bedroom. You may ask it one question. 👇