As we prepare for the annual celebrations commemorating victory in the "War of the Wandering Goose", an ancient battle fought against the "Castle of Finite Possibility" over who owned a goose seen wandering equidistant between both castles, the administration is issuing an appeal to all residents: 🏰OFFICIAL NOTICE🏰 Due to a catastrophic clerical error in the stores department, we find ourselves bereft of fireworks for the impending festivities. To ensure the event remains visually stunning, the administration has taken the following steps: 1. Declared that all health and safety protocols are suspended until winters moon. 2. Sanctioned a new bylaw, allowing the word "persons" to be substituted in place of the word "pyrotechnics" in all official documents. With this in mind, anyone willing to smother themselves in lamp oil and make themselves available for being set alight and launched over Goose Hill by means of the ceremonial trebuchet, will receive a day off in lieu and a consignment of vouchers for the castle Gift Shop. The administration feels that this will be ample remuneration for doing your civic duty. Whilst we appreciate your cooperation in this matter, we would remind all residents that, by the terms of their contract, they are subject to pernicious combustion at any time. We thank you. 🔥 🪿 🖕

The latest set of hatchlings have broken out of the gargoyle turret-top nursery. "The Unweathered", as they are sometimes referred, are currently reeking havoc in the upper quarters of the castle and being pursued by increasingly agitated nursery staff. Mistress Chisel-Hand (head nanny) is appealing for anyone who knows the whereabouts of the nursery cupboard key, where the baby catching implements are stored, to please get in touch with a member of staff immediately. "We don't stand a chance of catching the little blighters without our stone magnets, echo-lure tuning forks and bowls of enchanted rainwater" she said. This season's batch were particularly strong and mischievous it is reported. If one confronts you, they can sometimes be subdued and discouraged from crushing your head by saying their name in a gravelly tone whilst rubbing two pebbles together. Unfortunately, they are almost impossible to tell apart, so the advice is to cycle through the list of names until you spot some change in demeanor. This season's little ones are.... Sir Flapjack the Heavy Mumblecrust Hover-Belly Snort Gargle the Puddle-Drinker Glump the Spatula Crumble-Horn Squint Good luck.

There is a soupy ladle on the 17th tile (next to the hexagonal side portion.) I have seen other objects on other tiles, but am wearing the wrong glasses. Perhaps my fellow residents could identify them?

I regret to inform residents the word 's-a-u-s-a-g-e' has been misplaced, somewhere within the Castle. Residents will, naturally, be unable to speak or write the word until it has been recovered. For those asking, I was only able to depict the word above by using the 'hyphens' workaround. Can any residents please remind me of the other words that remain lost within the castle's numerous crevices? 🤔 P.S. Auntie Gooch's famous sossidge (aha, another workaround) sandwich will still be available in the cafe parlour tomorrow (saturday)... but residents will have to get creative when it comes to ordering same.

There have been sightings of marauding gangs of pudding vikings attacking at random from the moat. We have had reports from the below locations and what they have taken: - The Cakery - Stole all the sticky toffee pudding - The Ice Creamery - Robbed all their raspberry ripple - The Wafflery - Nicked all the maple syrup We can't know when or where they will strike next, so everyone needs to be vigilant and ready for battle at any moment. We will be issuing weaponry from the armoury, though we have already run out of swords. Luckily here are plenty of cricket bats left due to no one wanting to play. Please be on guard, and be sure to report any further viking raids. Our puddings are in peril!