Staying Sober · Aligned & Magnetic Scaling

Staying Sober

I’ve always had a very back and forth relationship to mary jane, there’s been times I’ve been using her very unhealthily for escapism and avoidance. But there has also been times her use has been very aligned and sparked new ideas, pleasure, and joy in my life

For 2 years now I have been in a constant tug of war between these two truths. I have tired to quit so many times and have gone 2 months, 3 months without it. Then, because I’ve been without it the idea of using it for a fun beach day or a chill self care night sounds justified and harmless but ultimately brings me to the same hole.

My soul is begging me to just stay sober and my inner teenager is resisting it like crazy because weed is one of the very few comforts I still have. All day every day I am taking aligned, boring action towards my goals. Going to the gym, working nonstop on my business, eating the same things to hit my protein and macros, and weed is the LAST comfortable thing I have, that lets me feel carefree.

But it’s also the last thing holding me back from the version of myself I know is going to be more rewarding and help me grow, so today is 4 days sober with no loopholes, no exceptions, and no excuses. Sharing this here because this is a promise to myself I cannot break again, and this is the most supportive audience to witness my commitment ❤️

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