For the past four years or so I have been riddled with realization moments/ awakenings to the point where I hit a place somewhere so deep on a soul level that your mind and body, no matter how hard you push, tells you to rest. Even though you are trying to balance “worlds” yourself (spiritual) and material ( rent, bills, payments etc.) I think of it like being stuck at the airport while waiting to go somewhere. You are getting frustrated, friends and family are getting frustrated, you may even lose some. You might lose work, miss the party, whatever the case is. In the meantime you are trying to stay calm amidst the chaos. Your plane will take off again you are just being grounded. Out of it you find strengths. If you are going through this or have gone through similar experiences. I am cheering for you :)