The next couple of course modules are in the works. I don't want Accountabilio to be just about quitting porn and overcoming compulsive behaviors, because that's just one part of it. For those who know me, know that I have a past with this issue, and I resolved it. But a lot of the time it is fronted online that overcoming things such as porn addiction will automatically make you successful, attractive, mindful, and just riddled with discipline. That is a part of it, but it's not the full picture. Addiction is a limiter. But to completely change your life, you have to take action. And if you have a past where you have lived in a limited state, it can be hard for you to know how and what you need to do to achieve your goals. That is why the next process will look like this. First, we overcome your addiction. And I mean truly overcome it, not just get to a 30, 60, or 90-day streak. I want you to get to a point where your complete system is restored. Then we will delve deeper into how to regain internal control. Overcoming addiction is not just about stopping the behavior, because throughout the years, when you have been engaging with it, you have created an internal state that is not optimal for growth. So that is why we will focus on regaining internal control and make it a part of your identity. That is the next module that is coming up, so stay tuned for that, guys.

Fabian here 👋 I’m from Chicago and I look forward to eliminating this disgusting addiction once and for all. As to what brought me here. Like most men, you discover porn typically at an early age. I discovered porn at about 12 years old. As you can imagine this can lead to psychological and negative effects over time. What may seem normal or natural at the time, it completely derails your life as you get older. I have always been a very active person (Athlete/Sports). Infact, I played baseball collegiately. So, I was a person with discipline and good character. While having an active lifestyle is good, especially because it keeps you out of trouble. However what happens when you no longer live an active lifestyle because of age and work? What happens when you get bored? What happens when you are lonely? This is when I resorted to porn to find pleasure, just like sports did for me when I was young. What I discovered as I got older was that porn was a symptom to something much more deeper. While loneliness and seeking stimuli amplified my urges to seek porn. It wasn’t the loneliness and wanting stimuli itself as to why I needed porn. But rather because it associated itself as part of my nervous system and neural pathways. In addition what I realized during the above discovery is the root cause of why my brain allowed the above is because it thinks that what I am doing is completely fine and party of biology. You brain can’t tell the difference between pixels and real sex. Infact it probably thinks you are procreating at such a high level which associates it as good. Along this path I was also able to discover something that led me to constantly relapsing. I was able to address my inner child. This is partly why I was doing what I was doing. And like most boys, they need love, comfort, and safety which I did not receive when I was a child. We also seek validation/approval from our fathers. Not only did I not receive that but I was often criticized for my every move. I genuinely started to believe that there might be something wrong with me. Which led to the loneliness and seeking stimulation > which leads to relapsing. See the link? I kept digging further however to understand even more. I realized my father was seeking the same thing as a child as well. He never addressed his childhood trauma. Whereas I did. His father(my grandpa) left him at an early age to go work so he can support my dad and his siblings. Because of this my dad was raised by just his mom. Over time this leads to a dysfunctional/dysregulated nervous system in which influenced how he (my dad) raised his children. This influenced my nervous system alongside my brother and sister. This led to to depression, anxiety, fear, limited mindset,etc. Once I was able to address the above, my journey to a porn free life has become easier. I now know that my father’s past and my upbringing don’t have to influence who I am or who I want to become.

Curious to hear from you guys. What was the moment where you realized you actually needed to change something? For me, I kind of accidentally noticed that PMO was an issue.. I think I was around 21 or 22. Life was actually going fine -> I was studying, working, exercising, had a good relationship with my family, friends, girlfriends, all of that. But one day I was just laying in bed feeling super depressed. And I genuinely could not pinpoint why. So I decided to PMO. At that point it was something I used for everything. If I was bored, sad, happy, excited, anxious. Whatever feeling I had, I would regulate it with PMO. But what I noticed right after was that I actually felt worse than before. That is when I got the (genius) idea to google: "Is porn bad for you?" What I found was what made me decide to quit. I stumbled into the nofap community, and there I read testimonies from guys describing the exact same things I was experiencing. The dullness of life. Lack of deep motivation. Anxiety. Stress. Escalating sexual preferences. That was the first moment where I realized something might actually be wrong here. I would not say it was planned. I kind of just stumbled into it. What about you? What made you decide to start questioning PMO?

Not another “do this, do that” solution. Just a way to actually understand what’s going on with you… so you can fix it properly.