Between my mind and my heart there are wars I can't judge well these are calculated minuteThoughts are sweeping through my mind and my mind can't separate them Then the stage of transformation to the self that I don't know begins Like a house, he doesn't care what I suffer, he only cares about the phantom dopamine. I am still struggling until this moment even I thought of thoughts that terrify me lest this monster lose the pleasure of feeling for it I'm still thinking about the consequences and feeling regret when I'm done with it. All this event is caused by fear and anxiety in daily events and an emotional need for a partner But as soon as the effect wears off I don't need a partner and I say inside me why did I do it and this is the contradiction I hope to stay aware of this moment

The second day has affected the loss of someone My level of thinking I have bad obsessions I was going to run away to get rid of these feelings but my body is exhausted so I won't do it

Painful beginnings are the fruit that makes you strong for any pain you go thro

Been failing at this for 4 days. I was clean for 10 before. But I want to accept that 10 is not very many. I know I need positive and optimistic accountability. But right now I feel like a fake. I feel the very strong pull of my addiction. I want to be better. What else do you all talk about when talking about accountability?

The 🎯 Accountability tab is where you show up and keep yourself accountable. If you want to check in, you can do it here, whether it was a good day or a bad one. The point is not to be perfect, it’s to stay aware and take control instead of drifting. I’ll respond to posts, and the other brothers and sisters here will too. This is a place to stay consistent and not do this alone.