"𝐈𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐲, 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐞, 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞". I love that more than most people probably realize. I also think there’s an important distinction that gets missed in conversations about growth, performance, and resilience.. Potential is not accessed through constant nervous system overload but I think many of us approach it in this way. A lot of us try to force ourselves into higher performance while our systems are already chronically stressed, overstimulated, emotionally exhausted, disconnected, or stuck in survival mode. This type of 'grinding' eventually catches up because our nervous system was not designed to just operate under endless pressure without recovery. A lot of self-development is focused around 'pushing harder', 'optimizing more', 'staying hungry', 'outworking everyone', and not slowing down. In the meantime, our bodies are asking to be regulated- asking for moments where they are not subconsciously bracing for the next impact. Healthy amount of sleep. Actual stillness. A sense of safety. A sense of real presence. Real connection with people that are actually grounding for our systems. Many high functioning individuals don't even realize the level of dysregulation because performance is still high, there's still a high level of productivity, there's still movement and achievement. But...internally, we feel perpetually 'on', restless, detached from ourselves, unable to fully recover and kind of emotionally thin.We can be mentally tough but physiologically overwhelmed. This is a signal of survival and survival mode is not sustainable elevation. What's not addressed ends up seeping out in different ways. To rise above mediocrity requires effort, discipline, and responsibility. It does require a level of hunger. BUT it also requires the capacity to regulate our nervous systems well enough that we can actually sustain the clarity, depth, creativity, emotional stability and growth over time. Otherwise burnout happens. An overloaded system feels heavier and things become more difficult than they need to be and then we end up judging ourselves for it "I need to be stronger" "I need to stop being lazy" "I just need more discipline" and on and on an on.

Affirmations are intentional statements we use to help shape our focus, identity, and internal dialogue. They're about reinforcing the mindset we actually want to live from. The most effective affirmations are believable enough to accept, repeated consistently (and internalized over time), emotionally /value connected AND backed by action. :) These were some of the ones I've been leaning on this week: -"I owe it to myself to see how capable I truly am and to live and expand upon my potential" -"I keep promises to myself" -"I will not sleepwalk through a life others would fight for" -"I reject comfort that weakens me and I accept discomfort that strengthens me" -"I don't wait to lose things to appreciate them". Would love to hear some of yours! :) Do you use affirmations or reminders?

""A gold medal is a wonderful thing, but if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it"--Cool Runnings ***Even if you don't read this, check out the video if you can!*** "I will be happy if..." "When I get this......then......" These are statements that I hear OFTEN in my clinical practice and there absolutely have been times when I've also fallen into this. So, we end up chasing whatever goal it is that we think will make us happy/fulfilled/enough and once we get there we feel a momentary high only to ask ourselves, "Okay, what now? What's next?" And then the goalpost relocates. Good times. This is the 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐲. It's "the false, often unconscious belief that reaching a specific destination, achieving a goal, or attaining a certain status will deliver lasting happiness". It gives the impression that there's some clean and satisfying 'arrival point' where striving ends and contentment begins. But the reality is that that arrival ends up being more like a layover. A temporary high, followed by a crash, which then we try to fill up again--hedonic adaptation at play here. So here's the thing though because I don't want any of this to imply that goals are bad or that we shouldn't strive. That's ridiculous. It's more about not assigning these goals the emotional weight that they weren't intended to hold and not making your worth as a person dependent on the achievement of these goals. It's about checking ourselves and seeing what underlying driving forces are at play for us when we're striving. A promotion won't resolve our underlying restlessness, a PR won't permanently quiet our self doubt (though it may give evidence that 'hey, maybe we're better than we think'), a cleaner relationship though it can provide a level of safety won't just eliminate internal noise. 𝐆𝐨𝐚𝐥𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞. ***𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 (𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡-𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐬)*** If you’re someone who’s good at pushing, achieving, optimizing, you’re especially prone to this.

Saw this at a place I was visiting today and thought I'd pass it on !! When trying something new, it's probably going to feel uncomfortable! Those are new neural connections being created so there is an actual physical discomfort that's happening. That's normal! Let's embrace the process :-) get aligned and then embrace the discomfort that comes along with the change!

I often use the phrase "get your reps in" when it comes to encouraging others (and myself) to improve on a desired skill. But, there is a caveat here because getting our reps in implies only doing something over and over and if we're not intentional (and reflective) with what that something is it can lead us to plateau or perhaps even worsen. Improvement requires more than rote repetition. As a SIDE quest in @Steve Webb 's 30 day challengers community, we read the book 𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐤: 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞. Thought I'd share some of the key takeaways here beeeecause this group is about Inspired and Empowered Living and I'd love for us to be even more equipped through life! 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄: Getting really good at something is not about talent or repetition, but it's more about HOW we practice. :) 1. Again, repetition alone doesn't build expertise, deliberate practice does. This seems like an "of course" moment, but I do think that a lot of us get stuck in the cycle of just repeating something over and over and hoping that we'll improve. 𝐒𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤? 1. 𝐁𝐞 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 about the what. What are we improving? Vague goals KILL progress. Ex: "Getting better at communicating" is not specific enough. Think about the DETAILS of what it means to get better at this. Things like "I will interrupt less", "I will make eye contact", "I will summarize what the other person said so that they feel heard and so that I get feedback on whether I understood their point" "I will ask more follow up questions"--think of observable and trackable behaviors! :) ---We talk a lot about strengths in this group, BUT this is actually about zeroing in on weaknesses and training them directly! :) 2.𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 :We can't improve what we can't see. This is one of the fastest 'shortcuts' to growth--without the ability to see what's actually happening and getting 'correction'/correcting ourselves, we're more likely to reinforce mistakes or things that will be challenging to fix down the line.