People often say to those who seem to have many requirements to accept someone as a partner that, thinking this way, they will never find anyone. But I wonder… what are we supposed to do? Accept compromises just to pair up and obtain a sense of security, even though deep down, from the very beginning, we feel we won’t be able to endure them for long? Have we stopped believing in love… possibly because we are no longer capable of loving someone that isn't our ego or its projected expression? Or the expectation of love in this paired form, while being almost taken for granted with all its complexities, is just a narrow viewpoint of our true feelings? If our feelings of wild romance collide with feelings of order and diligence: what ethical stance is right to have? Is there a right-choice? Are our partners our property? Are we entitled to deny them to love someone else in such a way that one feels due to boycott any contradictory feeling arising or loving is letting the other have freedom of choice regardless of the choice he makes? Is jealousy an indication of sound concern or just an uncontrolled demand for attention? Is love something you can crystallize forever with an oath or a whim of the moment? But most importantly: are we giving our partner what we demand from them? I don't have an answer, just a personal way of threading between the poles, and the certainty of pissing off somebodies and the certainty of moving some others towards me, inevitably, exchangeably, with each decision. Ohhh... by the Mo'Jaal's filthy bowels! I pray for the Balance! What is your take on this?

Are you truly awake or just accepting that you are without knowing that you are, and if you are awake, how do you know you are awake and what have you woken up from?

You can do anything you want, but is it free spirit doing ( and healthy ego) or is it going through a filter of unhealthy identification? "I don't even can speak your language so well", lol.

SO rhe majority of people are literally just earth food? If we want to rejoin and break the cycle instead of being minerals we go back to God, we have to destroy the ego, practice alchemy and sacrifice ourself for humanity. Does that mean we trade suffering here so we can live infinitely and be with Christ and rejoin the source? In practice of transmutation is there a right period to wait or should it be a regular thing?

I am at a point where I am realizing more about how my mind is… the patterns, the views, the beliefs, the contradictions. Sometimes I just feel like I don’t even have an identity because I question everything and feel so disconnected from others or the status quo. I struggle to just BE and as I exist now, am just overwhelmed by constant analysis, investigation, contradiction, endless loopholes, occasional awakening but often impending dread that the thoughts and loopholes with be back soon to have a chat… I feel really tired and don’t know… I feel like screaming right now, just what the fuck.