Thought I’d share a bit about this with you guys <3 First off I will say that I’d identify more as “agnostic - omnist - non-dual” belief. — EGO - Persona - Internal Dialogue It’s almost like an internal narrator that: - selects emotional hooks - builds a storyline around them - assigns you a role (victim, hero, rejected, desired, misunderstood, etc.) - and then pulls you into acting or feeling accordingly - fast - emotional - persuasive - identity-based - reactive - “movie-like” The loud voice feels more powerful because: it uses pressure The mind becomes very good at justifying narrating and centering everything around his own perspective. Inner developing consciousness with potential for deeper connection to awareness and perspective. It doesn’t: - argue - persuade - perform It just: knows… and doesn’t need to convince you - quiet - non-performative - accepting - grounded - not trying to sell you anything The soft voice feels weaker because: it respects your choice “learn to recognize and return to the quieter, non-compulsive awareness when the narrator takes over” The thought came → you didn’t follow it → something deeper settled → it got quiet A shift from being inside the movie → to realizing you’re watching it ACTIONABLE Just quietly note: “This is the loud one.” Then: - take one breath - feel your body (even just your hands or chest) - and ask internally: “What does the quieter voice say right now?” Not expecting a speech—just a tone, a direction, a feeling. —

I have developed some intense attachment or overindulgence in thinking… in narrated my observation. It is so fucking overwhelming. I am not sleeping well at all. I already know I have been through some hard shit in my life and I developed thinking patterns to protect myself and be vigilant of myself and others but I am SPENT! I want to be able to just choose to totally be like not in the cycle of view, notice, analyze, observe or whatever, over and over and over again constantly. I CANT SLEEP. It’s getting to the point where my head like is wanting to dead it entirely. I am trying to sort through, in those moments, maybe how to disengage, instead of observing the thoughts and engaging with the observation - rather to just see the them as perhaps not important or even just not necessary. I believe I have found comfort in thinking, I am obsessive as fuck. There’s got to be people out there who have thought and thought themself into oblivion and found peace after somehow!

I attach to people and things. I become emotionally invested, have fears about being without them and not feeling whole. I am grieving a relationship. We still live together right now which is needed for my financial safety. We lived together as girlfriend and boyfriend for about a year. I keep walking in on him watching porn and he has been speaking to me very condescending and in degrading ways. He used to do this when we were together too. I have really had a lot of love for him even when I’ve had to place really strong boundaries or when I fought in the relationship to express to him how the way he was treating me was hurting me. He just totally disconnects, is passive aggressive and very disruptive, stomping, making noise, ignoring and making co-habituating difficult. I am looking for some perspective to help me let go but also help me cultivate compassion for him and a broader understanding. Something that can really open my heart to just let him be and be truly warm towards myself and him right now. I feel deeply that perspective could help me find peace.

Something beautiful happened this weekend. Really beautiful. There was connection, lightness, joy. And then, at the end, something heavy came up. Tears. Collapse. Silence after. It stayed in the room longer than the laughter did. And I noticed how quickly the mind wants to focus on that one hard moment, as if it suddenly defines everything that came before. I felt how easy it would be to replay it, to analyze it, to carry it around. And at the same time I saw that the whole experience was still bigger than that one crack in it. It made me realize how careful we have to be with our attention. Where it rests shapes how we remember, how we feel, how we move forward. Pain deserves space, yes. But it does not deserve the throne. Attention is quiet power. And maybe it is the only thing that is truly ours to guide.

https://www.vincentvangogh.org/a-pair-of-shoes.jsp There are stairs in the shadow (that may lead up or down), and there is an ouroboros. The shoe on the right (the left foot) grapples with both its laces at the ouroboros (with a thorny/spiky tail) and has what seems to me a scorpion crawling into it. I see the right shoe (the one on the left) pointing at the ouroboros while a shadow emerges from it looking at the stairs (it looks to me like No Face Mask of the Spirited Away movie, i saw him when i noticed the tiny white hand grappling the edge of the interior of the shoe ), and the shoe looks kinda weary in contrast to the more erect posture of the left shoe. The ouroboros is brightly lit while the stairs are in the shadow. Hidden but there. while the shoes are giving ther back to a Veil (the upmost part of the painting). I find all this very Symbolic and pointing to a Way i find most Dear. If you too are seeing this and it picked your curiosity I'd like to share more of what it means to me for if we see the same Way we are Brothers and Sisters 🥰🙏🤜🫠