Comment below by calling your shot for this week: What healthy, value-based action do you commit to doing this week to improve your life? And how did you get on with last week's commitment?

Most Nice Guys and people pleasers think their problem is that they’re too kind, too generous, too thoughtful, too compassionate, too selfless. But what if that’s not actually true? What if your problem isn’t kindness at all? What if the thing you call kindness is actually control? That’s a brutal idea to sit with, especially if you’ve built your entire identity around being a “good person.” However, if you’re willing to look honestly at yourself, this realization can completely change your life, because there’s a kind of narcissism hiding inside many nice guys and people pleasers. I am not talking about the loud, arrogant, flashy narcissism everyone talks about online. I mean a quieter version: a more socially acceptable version. A version that disguises itself as generosity, empathy, and helpfulness. The strange thing is, the people trapped in this pattern often genuinely care about others. That’s what makes it so hard to spot. You’re not trying to dominate people by intimidating them. You’re trying to dominate people by pleasing them. You’re constantly trying to manage: - how people feel - how they see you - how situations turn out - whether everyone is okay - whether anyone is upset with you - whether you’re still viewed as a good person You become emotionally exhausted because you think you’re responsible for everything, and underneath all of that is what I call the Inept God Complex. Check out the full podcast episode below: If you prefer written content, click here to keep reading the full written version on Dan’s blog. Or click on your preferred option below - Watch on YouTube - Listen on Soundcloud - Listen on Apple Podcasts - Listen on Spotify - Listen on Amazon Audible

Congratulations to @Alee Allana @Erick Kayli and @Rutger Diergaarde for winning this week's competition. Thanks to your posting, comments and other engagement, you've each one a FREE coaching session with me (worth $650). I'll be in touch shortly with details. Next competition will be coming soon...

Hey guys I'll be tallying up the points on the leaderboard at the end of my day today. This is your last chance to be in the top 3 to win a coaching session worth $650. Posting, commenting, and completing course videos will move you up! Winners to be announced next Monday. Cheers Dan

Hi all, I've been a member of this group for some time now and when I became a member, I had no idea about my autism. I've recently been diagnosed. Now, most of the things Dan posts here I find totally logical I can totally comprehend the concept, but something is holding me back to execute the behaviour properly. I mean, I've improved somewhat. I notice I can be in serious conversations with my girlfriend now, about stuff she isn't happy about in my behaviour, and I can last longer before I shut down or get angry and stop listening. What I have learned so far about autism is that most people have a totally over-reactive nervous system. People tend to feel overwhelmed and or anxious without interactions with others...As soon as a perceived criticism is felt, this may well lead a meltdown or shutdown. So... My question here is, perhaps more to those who identify as autistic or neurodivergent in a different way, do you think steering away from nice guy behaviour is genuinely more difficult, compared to neurotypical people?