If you’ve ever looked at your life from the outside and thought, “I should feel good about this… so why don’t I?” this video is for you. One of the strangest patterns I’ve seen after years of coaching high achievers is this: the more successful someone becomes, the more they feel like they’re failing. Promotions increase, income goes up, responsibilities grow—and somehow the sense of satisfaction shrinks. In this video, I break down what I call the perfectionism trap. It’s the reason nothing ever quite feels good enough, no matter how much you achieve. I share a story about a client who won a spelling bee as a kid with 99%. He was proud of it. He went home excited. His dad looked at the paper and asked, “Where’s the other 1%?” You end up chasing an invisible finish line. Every win immediately turns into, “Yeah, but it could have been better.” This is maladaptive perfectionism: setting unrealistic standards, then beating yourself up afterward for not meeting them. I talk about how perfectionists tend to measure the wrong things. You don’t measure what you did—you measure what didn’t happen. Wins get rewritten as losses by imagination alone. Over time, this creates a brutal inner environment. You’re living with a voice in your head that is never satisfied, never impressed, never encouraging. That’s why so many high achievers are exhausted, anxious, burned out, and quietly miserable despite doing “better” than most people around them. They’re running hard on a treadmill that never stops. In the video, I also explain why perfectionism doesn’t actually help performance. Creativity, leadership, risk-taking, and real growth all require being willing to get things wrong. Masters don’t have undefeated records. If you’ve ever wondered why pressure seems to fuel your success while slowly destroying your enjoyment of life, this video will help you see what’s really happening—and why perfectionism isn’t your strength, it’s your leash. 👉 Go watch the full video if you want to understand why nothing ever feels like enough—and what that voice in your head is actually costing you.

"It's just not working!" If you feel like you’ve been “into self development” for a long time but you’re frustrated with the lack of change (or how long it’s taking to improve), this is for you. I’m going to help you figure out why all that content you’ve been consuming - videos, podcasts, articles, courses, programs - is NOT translating into a new life. read more here... Or listen to this;

Happy new years to all of you! To help you plan and prepare for 2026 to ensure it's better than any year you had before, I'm giving away free copies of my book The Legendary Life, which takes you through the entire step by step process for planning your life, including how to motivate yourself, write goals, and remove barriers. The first 10 people to comment "Legendary" get a copy! Cheers Dan

What does it actually mean to be a confident man? In this video, I break down confidence in a way most people never talk about it — not as bravado, dominance, or pretending you don’t care, but as living with integrity so you stop doubting yourself, seeking approval, or losing sight of who you are. This is part three of the Nice Guy Recovery series, and it’s specifically for men who have spent years compromising themselves to be liked, accepted, or validated — only to end up feeling invisible, disrespected, or lost. We’ll explore why confidence has nothing to do with impressing others and everything to do with impressing yourself. I explain how integrity works as an internal operating system, why honesty is the real foundation of confidence, and how constantly hiding your preferences fractures your identity over time. You’ll also learn why confidence requires risk — including rejection, misunderstanding, and upsetting people — and why avoiding those things is exactly what keeps nice guys stuck. I introduce the idea of “micro-honesty” as a practical way to rebuild self-trust without forcing yourself into massive, overwhelming changes. I also share a real client story that shows how a single honest moment can radically change your confidence, dating life, career, and self-respect. If you’ve ever felt like you’re playing different versions of yourself depending on who you’re with — or you’re tired of being liked but not respected — this video will challenge you in the best way. 👉 Watch the full video and see what happens when you stop trying to be impressive — and start being real.

Weekly challenge: - Do something normal in a weird unusual way, e.g. brush teeth with other hand every morning  New: - Welcome new members from last week - You can now get complimentary membership in exchange for supporting Brojo! DM me to ask about how - I’m currently testing a new virtual coaching app - Testimonials on About page - check them out In process: - 30 day challenge starts next week - Planning your 2026 for Success - New Nice Guy Recovery Roadmap short course fully developed - Redesigning Brojo membership, prices and value will both go up in 2026 - current members will be grandfathered in Recognition: - Rutger for being the GOAT with contributing to the group - Everyone’s engagement is increasing - loving the new posts! Reminders: - DGAF workshop recording in VIP course - Social Confidence and all other workshops now available in course - VIP access - VIPs will now get one practical workshop per month as well as a group coaching call