I had the idea of creating stamp a stamp card for myself (my daughter has been doing this to encourage herself to do certain activities) for affect labeling. It's like the loyalty cards you get at coffee shops. I'm trying to think of what kind of reward I could give myself for every 10 times I affect label someone. So far, I've come up with the idea of $5 towards a treat, but I don't know if it's the right reward. Maybe @Doug Noll could give me 5 minutes to ramble on during the Saturday sessions for every completed card. 🤣

Most leaders don’t notice the exact moment trust drops. What phrase do you now realize triggers escalation for you? Share it below.

Happy New Year! In the first week of January, we’ll share a new guide about subtle phrases that unintentionally spark conflict. Stay tuned, and if you’re reading this and haven’t posted or interacted with the community yet, now’s the time.

Rina shared a deeply personal story about family estrangement, describing how her mother's relationship with her sister in Ireland deteriorated after a disagreement about a vacation during COVID-19, leading to a five-year estrangement. Despite efforts to reconcile, Rina expressed ongoing anger and hurt about how her aunt treated her mother, particularly given her mother's mild dementia. Rina is planning to travel to Ireland to be with her injured mother and confront these family dynamics, while acknowledging the need to manage her strong emotional reactions and maintain composure during the visit. Rina discussed her frustration with family dynamics, particularly regarding a canceled vacation and communication issues between her mother and Margaret. Through a role-playing exercise, Doug helped Rina practice active listening and affect-labeling techniques to better understand Margaret's perspective and emotions. Rina acknowledged her anger about being disrespected and misunderstood, while also recognizing the good intentions behind her daughter's actions, which led to the family conflict. The group discussed strategies for managing difficult conversations and emotions, with a particular focus on affect labeling as a tool for calming oneself and others. Doug emphasized the importance of avoiding I-statements and instead using You-statements to help regulate emotions and build compassion. Pegotty introduced the High Road acronym (Honor Yourself, Internal awareness, Generous listening, and Hot button management) as a framework for regaining power in high-conflict situations. The group agreed on the value of practicing affect labeling even when angry, as it can help regulate emotions and foster compassion. The group discussed techniques for managing reactivity and conflict, with Jim emphasizing the importance of affect labeling as a shield against triggers. Doug shared a teaching moment in which he demonstrated the impact of energy-sapping behavior, helping the group understand the power of maintaining boundaries through affect labeling. The discussion concluded with Doug explaining that in arguments, both parties have a deep need to be heard, and the key to resolving conflicts is for individuals to listen to the other person first before seeking validation themselves.

Had an incredible conversation on Saturday about Power and emotions. We talked about how to move from powerless to empowered. I left inspired to create a Power Assessment to help clients in any situation where they feel powerless. You should get in on these conversations!!