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7 contributions to 11 Marriage
4d •
Stop the Mind Reading
You assume you know why they did it. You think they left the socks on the floor to disrespect you. You think they were quiet because they are angry. This is mind-reading. It is dangerous. Rule: You must ask. You cannot assume. Say this instead. "I noticed you are quiet. I am telling myself you are mad at me. Is that true?" Clarify before you fight.
0 likes • 3d
Unfortunately, I do this all of the time... I think its a protection move for me because when I used to ask, I was met with defensiveness and accusations. This has led me to just keep quiet.. She always says, why you just don't ask but if I have to deal with that, I'll just stay silent. I'll walk around the sock or keep assuming she is mad until she say something or until I wake up the next day. I know it's not ideal but right now, I'm just surviving... 😔
20d •
The Adult Time-Out
We give kids time-outs, but adults need them more. When you are flooded (heart racing, hands shaking, triggered), your IQ figuratively drops. You become less reasonable in that moment! The Protocol: 1. Call it: "I need a time-out." 2. Time it: "I will be back in 20 minutes." (Crucial step! Don't just storm off). 3. Do it: Go self-regulate. Breathe. Pray. 4. Return: Come back when the brain is back online. This isn't punishment; it's a pause to reset.
0 likes • 13d
The gym works wonders for me... Me, my headphones and a treadmill is all I need!!!
24d •
#Raincheck
Saturday’s plans out the window, thought we had some family time scheduled. I thought wrong, going out for drinks is more important/fun I guess 🤷🏾♂️
2 likes • 13d
@Robert Jackson I had a similar situation as mine was more of a miscommunication but it still resulted in her going out. That's ok... I have learned that if I don't do what was planned, I have lost. Mommy gonna hit the streets, Daddy and daughters are gonna hit them too. We not gonna sit at home looking at four walls because two adults can get a schedule together. Not gonna allow my kids to miss out. Nope... Not on my watch!
0 likes • 13d
@Laura Harris ABSOLUTELY!!!!!
18d •
The Scariest Intimacy
For many couples, the scariest form of intimacy isn't physical—it's Spiritual. Praying out loud together can feel incredibly awkward and vulnerable. Baby Step: You don't have to pray a sermon. Tonight, before you fall asleep, just hold hands and say: "God, help us with [insert one worry]. Amen." Start small. The "We" is strengthened when you invite the "He" into the room.
1 like • 13d
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
29d •
The "Transition" Ritual
Now that work and school are back in full swing, the stress is back too. Do you bring your work stress home and dump it on your family? Try a Transition Ritual. When you park the car or shut the laptop, take 60 seconds. - Visualize the work stress staying in the car/office. - Take 3 deep breaths. - Set an intention: "I am entering my home as a present spouse/parent." Protect your marriage from the stress of the day.
1 like • 27d
I used to bring my work stress home until I saw myself and the attitude I was bringing to my wife and kids. I started to adopt the attitude that once I left work, I left everything work related there. If something happened from the time I leave till the time I get back, I will deal with it the next day.
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