Thank you for sharing this with us and asking. I admire you for expressing this. Reaching out when I am struggling is something I have a hard time with so thanks for being a good example. I don’t know all the details of what you re going through so I am going to say some stuff and you can comment on whatever resonates with you or nothing at all. -I want your goal not to be “More happy” or “ More energetic” but to fully accept and appreciate who you are right now…even the darker parts or perceived not-so-desirable parts. These parts teach us (even if it’s what we don’t want), they have protected us in various ways… we can accept them, thank them and move on to grow. Growth might not happen fast. It’s easier to change and tweak ourselves once we have taken these shadow parts captive to accept, dissect, unravel and alchemize it. It’s a lot of work and you need to go deep through the layers. Let me know if you’d like an example of what I do and my train of thought when I do this. -What do you mean by happy? More sociable? Better outlook on life? More positive? More Happy and Energized = Are you waking up at a consistent time, exercising your body and feeding yourself properly? What is keeping you unhappy? Ask why, and why again, and again. -Can you be more specific and itemize what you are not feeling good enough with/ for, in your art practice and relationships? -Who are you not feeling good enough for? Isn’t it their problem if you aren’t good enough for them? Or you can allow and trust someone to communicate it if they thought you needed to work on a part of you that needed to grow (the not good enough part).

@Brendan OCallaghan For sure! If you ever need someone to do reflective work with , let me know! Reach out. I’m not just saying empty to sound nice 🩷

Do you have a reliable site or link where we can find out what our personality type is?

I love you asking this question, it’s very vulnerable and brave. You feeling like your loved ones and family members aren’t prioritizing time with you before you leave, Have you expressed this want and need to them? This is a big, exciting life change for you. You are feeling everything and all of your senses and emotions are heightened. Your brain and body are hyper aware of everything you need to get done and pack in before you leave. Your loved ones are still running on regular time, with their regular schedules and regular lives. That is a big contrast. It could be that some of them have feelings of abandonment and that tends to affect how people act in these situations. Maybe they haven’t realized that time is running low and they need to be spending time with you before you leave? The biggest thing is to communicate this with them 🩷

Meeting new , quality people as an adult is hard and takes more time and effort than when we were kids. As a kid we seem to get automatic friends by association, school and other activities. As a kid , you can just walk up to another kid and start talking about random stuff and be best friends without even knowing their name. As an adult it takes a little while to build trust, depth and connection to get that deep bond we crave. Who do you envision as your new friends? Where do they hang out? What hobbies do they have? Where do they shop and why at that specific place? Go to these places. Facebook is a good resource for activities and events to meet people. Examples that I can give you for myself are: -Farmers Markets -Ecstatic dances -Saunas and cold plunges -I go to the same coffee shop and intentionally strike up conversations and hope to see that person again. -There are pop up activities like cemetery walks. -Bus or boat tours. -Standing in lines is a great way to meet people. I would not recommend sites like Bumble to meet friends unless you are VERY good at weeding out and spotting red flags and intentions. Make sure to do frequent calls , voice notes, pictures and FaceTime with your loved ones back home. Texting doesn’t have the same level of intimacy as seeing someones face does. Sending lots of love your way for connection and new friends. You are exactly what you need to go out and get some new friends.

A foundational rule or mindset I use to keep my relationships aligned is to COMMUNICATE NEEDS and for me to be curious about my partners needs. This means to communicate every single want, need, desire, hurt, upset, goals, fears, ideas and dreams. To not leave the other person guessing or filling the blanks in on their own. I’ve noticed that when there is a void in an area of my relationship or the communication, I fill in the blanks on my own and it tends to be a more pessimistic scenario or thought, so I need my partner to communicate and shed light on that area for me. I use to be fearful of this type of communication but I noticed that under-communicating was causing lots of problems and misunderstandings…I decided that If the person can’t handle this level of communication or are turned off by me expressing my wants and needs, and them expressing theirs, we are not right for each other.

‘Us versus Problems Microstory’ Remmy! Excellent reminder and example of working as a team to solve the issue 🩷 When you get into a relationship, the issue being faced becomes a mutual problem BOTH partners need to work on. Not just one partner pointing out the problem and the other working on it solo. Questions: How would emotional maturity matter in this story example? There are partners that refuse to confront a problem in the relationship, or don’t know how to face it from a team mindset. How would your approach and wording matter in this situation?

@Brendan OCallaghan The end of relationships are hard. You have to readjust yourself and your life to that partner not being there anymore but like you said, so much is learned around our heartbreak and ourselves (if we are receptive to it). It hurts but it’s also a growth opportunity, so yeah, serendipitous. Take care of yourself during this time. Be gentle with yourself, wrap in blankets, eat nourishing foods, do comforting things…or don’t. 🩷🩷🩷

Trying to think of the most perfect serendipitous example in my life; I decided that we can take any situation in life and follow that serendipitous -chance- happenstance-trail to where that specific instance was used as a prompt for something better and more meaningful down the road. Some examples can be small, delicate and barely noticeable …and then there are serendipitous events that happen so profoundly and violently they set you on a completely new trajectory in life. A new job at a local café introduced me to my only neighbor (My farm is located on a prairie with large distance between each house). I avoided meeting this particular neighbor because he seemed gruff, confrontational and intimidating from what I had observed going on at his property and rumors from other locals. Those frequent encounters of him as my customer at the café, led to a friendly acquaintance and then to him confessing that he relocated my large flock of ducks that had mysteriously disappeared and then him asking forgiveness. This led to conversation, connection as neighbors and friends, him giving me information about things and people in the area, Me borrowing tools and having someone to rely on for help here on the prairie if I need it. Photo: Saw horses I borrowed from my neighbor.