Grateful for the people who support me. Grateful to be coming through a very difficult time with my health recently and a dark period mentally. Grateful for independence and mobility - to move about freely without relying on others. I'm grateful to be able to do all the small things for myself that can't always be done when you are physically compromised.

@James Driskill First of all, my situation is nothing special or unique, it's just mine, that's all. I had a number of things pile up over the course of this year. I thought it was all mental but it turns out there were physical things at play as well. The mental part started in January when my oldest friend's girlfriend committed suicide, about 5 weeks later his mother died and the next day his dad died. I've been in contact several times per week to be there for him and even he has had suicidal thoughts, my sister just died from cancer, another friend died of cancer and a third friend now has cancer. My significant other's son has had an undiagnosed illness and messed up blood work for about 6 months with no real answers - at least that is starting to resolve itself, he is much better now. My daughter just had a suicidal event - not successful - that required intervention and treatment (on going mental health issues and addiction issues plague her). All that put me in a pretty good funk - let's just call it depression. Then I noticed incredible fatigue. I thought it was the stress that was piling up and just something I would have to get through. Then, I had an abscess in my intestine that ruptured, the pain was insane and I went to the hospital. While there, I received treatment for the intestinal issue but they found that my extreme fatigue was from a parasite I picked up from a tick bite. The condition is called Babesiosis, the babesia parasite eats your red blood cells - which accounts for my extreme fatigue (borderline anemic, low hemoglobin count, etc.). Mentally it was all a lot. It all put me in a hole deeper than I've been in in a long time. I didn't want visitors at the hospital and I was really content to literally stare at the walls. I didn't feel like doing anything more than just staring. I was in the hospital when my sister died and I was afraid that I would not be able to make it to her funeral. After 5 days in the hospital and two more recuperating at home, I was able to make the funeral. I will have fatigue and brain fog for up to six months from the tick parasite. And to top it all off, I can't get the same mental release from jiu jitsu that I used to get because I am supposed to avoid rolling for two more months. Because of the red blood cell issue, my spleen worked over time and is at risk for easy rupture. So, I have to take it easy. Add a shoulder injury that I had surgery on and PRP shots (Platelet-rich plasma) plus lingering arthritis in my shoulder that has been dogging for about two years. I suspect I'll never get back to rolling the way I used to. Sorry to go on so long, but you asked. I didn't do anything special to work my way through it. I just got some of the physical things worked out and some of the other stressful events are now past. But things like this are always learning events and as dark as they are when you are in the midst of them, there is always something to be grateful for once you see things more clearly. It truly is the little things that we take for granted that we need to recognize more often: our health, mobility, independence, the ability to do things on our own. But also thankful for everyone around us that love and support us in different ways. Like most things, gratitude is a practice, it doesn't happen on it's own. EDIT: Another big thing I need to recognize is that my staff at work and my partners in my jiu jitsu school are outstanding (we just signed a lease for a new space and we are in the process of renovating it and clearing out of the old location by the end of Sept, I have not been able to help like I want to - they have done the bulk of the work and they are very understanding). I HATE not being able to participate or carry my own weight but I truly have great partners and a great staff that proved I can actually take a break once in a while and things will be alright. That is something that I really need to understand and let things go a bit more going forward. Things will be ok without my involvement. That's a hard lesson to learn when you always feel like you need to be involved. So, again, I'm very grateful to the people I have around me.

Thank you for doing this, James.