Hey guys, I'm Lex from Thailand. I run a cannabis store in the heart of Bangkok and an organic farm hidden away in Thailand's peaceful countryside. On the outside, life looks like a dream and in many ways, it is. But truth be told, I fight many battles in my mind every single day. Like so many of us, I’m learning that healing isn’t about lifestyle or outer image. It's about going inside, face your shadows; it’s about awareness, intention, and finding peace within. This is me, sharing the journey and offering a helping hand where I can.

Have you ever been in meditation, breathwork, or a big spiritual practice and instead of feeling all that bliss and light you were promised your body just shuts down? Like, instead of transcendence you feel numb, blank, heavy. Or you get so sleepy you can’t keep your eyes open. For years I thought this meant I was failing. That I wasn’t “spiritual enough.” That I was doing something wrong. But here’s what I’ve learned through studying my nervous system and all the somatic practices I now use, this isn’t failure. This is actually your body doing exactly what it’s designed to do. The Spiritual Shutdown Paradox We go into meditation or breathwork expecting fireworks, tingling, crying, joy, connection, breakthroughs. Teachers often describe those experiences in detail, so we’re sat there waiting to feel all of it. But the reality? Sometimes we feel nothing. Or we go blank. Or we feel like we’ve been pulled out of the experience completely. And that’s because our nervous system is wired for safety. If the input feels “too much, too fast”, even if it’s positive, your body may interpret it as overwhelm. That’s when the vagus nerve hits the brakes, your heart rate drops, your energy plummets, and you slide into shutdown. It’s the same freeze response we see with stress… but it can just as easily show up during a spiritual high. Why We Misinterpret It The hardest part isn’t even the shutdown itself. It’s what we make it mean. We fall into the “should” trap. - I should be feeling bliss. - I should be good at this by now. - Something must be wrong with me. That pressure only deepens the shutdown. Because now it’s not just your body slowing things down, it’s your mind piling on judgment too. I’ve been there. One of my first deep meditation circles, I went into trance faster than my system could handle. I came out suddenly and then couldn’t drop back in no matter how hard I tried. I was so frustrated. Later, the teacher told me they would’ve pulled me out anyway because I was going too deep, too fast. My body knew before I did, and it protected me.